Shine On You Crazy Diamond

I now interrupt my busy schedule of calling every English teacher/grad student/librarian I know (thank you, ladycat777, likeadeuce, femmenerd and tkp) to whine about my first back-to-school paper (it's four pages and they want four external sources - wtf?) to point you toward this:

Scruffy, Pretty Things. Jared Padalecki owes me corneas.

And where the hell does Jensen Ackles buy his jeans? When did my life become a random series of sound effects, Chaucer incest and tracking down the exact denim wash Jensen Ackles is wearing in this post?

Guys, I squeezed my ass into a pair of size 6 jeans today. And it wasn't even, like, a sausage squeeze. There was wiggle room - I could have shoved a bong in my waistband and gone on tour with Kane - I'm going to kill adis723. She's totally ruined my brain.

But it's the little pleasures these days. Tom Welling with scruff, a pair of jeans I can't afford yet are five sizes smaller than the ones I was wearing in April, the fact that a light mocha frappucino (no whip) is only 3 Weight Watcher's points *and* we watched "Holy Grail" in my Chaucer class today...that's pure happiness, right there.

Wow. This post is so beyond esoteric it's...it's like I wrote it in Urdu and then ran it through BabelFish. Sorry! See what you're not missing? *g* God bless Texas.

( Oh! *That's* What I Wanted to Talk About )

Wanna know the best thing about using Live Journal tags?

You get to see exactly how many pointless, lame-ass posts you've made.

Much like this one.

Well, the writer's, anyway.

Confidential to winterlive and entrenous88: You are the shiniest new shiny things I've had in a while. I want to hold you in my hands like Barbies and bounce you up and down and make you talk to each other. The possibilities that I'm weird - not inconsiderable. Don't leave me! Seriously, you're both making LJ like way fun.

Open to all: I need recs. The Yinathon stories aren't updating fast enough! I'm a speed reader!! So. I need Xangel (just really in the mood right now, I blame uberaeryn), Spander, Spangel, Spike/Giles/Xander (I blame wesleysgirl) Brian/Justin and just anything (Note: I do enjoy het, I just don't look for it, anything with Xander works. Femme slash is good. Er, not with Xander, you get what I mean) else you'd think I'd read. New friends? What you got? Rec me, please!!! I can't wait on Stoney to update "Connie" all day...

Confidential to _beetle_ - thanks, you rock!

So, what's going on? Anything?

Thanks to vampirefever, I was forced to confront one of my fears button-eyes and plushy faced this morning: fear of stuffed animals.

Then I began to wonder if there was an actual phobia assigned to my fear (well, it's primarily of stuffed animals dressed up like people - your garden variety teddy bear won't make me soil myself or anything, but you show me a Paddington Bear in that little yellow slicker and we're talking heebie jeebies...)

I checked out the list of phobias and found out that there isn't a fancy Greek term for my fear - so I made one up: agriplushiphobia.

There are, however, three different phobias dealing with fear of an erect penis:

Ithyphallophobia- Fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis.
Medorthophobia- Fear of an erect penis.
Phallophobia- Fear of a penis, esp erect.

Bwaaaa???

And this one's just funny:

Lutraphobia- Fear of otters.

Happy St. Patrick's Day - now, stop pinching me, Stoney! Or do it harder.

In honor of my friend karabair and her awesome "chipmunk heart" analogy of Spike's love for Buffy, I present the following musical interlude. (Thanks to Paul Westerberg.) To the tune of "Dyslexic Heart":

Na nanana na nanana na na
Na na na na nana etc.
Ah ah ah...

You shoot me glances and they’re so hard to read
It would simple things up so much if you’d stop saving me

I may be love’s bitch and I’m not that smart

But at least my accent sounds the part

I’m in love with pain cause I got a chipmunk heart

I’m a monster that you treat like a man cause I got a chipmunk heart

 

I know you don’t but thanks for saying

I’m beneath you, now you’re on top,

Could I be more naked, thanks for not slaying

Do I read you correctly; lead me directly
I don’t get that whole cookie dough part

Do I hate you? do I slay you?
Do I got a chipmunk heart?

Me and Angel - you keep us both twistin’ ‘round you
Guess you’re waitin’ to see which one will shanshu

Or are you just playing, twisting my guts?

Well, my heart thinks you’re both nuts

 

I may be love’s bitch cause I got a chipmunk heart!