crazydiamondsue | Funk? Snit? Malaise? Ennui?

Mayhap lassitude? I thought this was brand new funk brought on by the combination of shagged out from Too Much Fun, work-angst, fic-woes and holiday blahs. Then

adis723 informed me that I went through the exact same thing this time last yeah. Meh. Great. I'm canabalizing my own lameness.

Suck to the degree that I missed one of my BFF LJ's birthdays. Actually, I missed calculated - I must have been using an ancient Dutrovic calendar and not the one with the gamboling dachshunds on it that's - you know - right next to my desk.

adis723's birthday was Dec 2, not Dec 10 which I had set as my official, hardline deadline to post the last chapter of "Sunday Morning Coming Down" in honor of my beta and #1 SMCD fan's b-day. Since I fucked up, that just means I don't have to deadline SMCD. So I bought her a season of Queer as Folk to make up for it. Does it make up? Dunno - her favorite episode now on DVD whenever she wants it as opposed to holding Netflix's copy hostage? Sounds good to me. Better than the porny, scratcing-kink, evil!Spike, fanon!Xander S/X I wrote for her last year.

spikendru has been very ill lately - so my thoughts are with her and her family.

I had a great weekend with

uberaeryn and

caoilainn (and of course

elcazavampiros.) I enjoyed the Keith Urban concert, even thought I'm not a *huge* fan (I'm old school, Waylon country) but hey - free tickets and kick ass hotel rooms with mini-bar and mini booze bottles (and yes, I did the It's like, "Here's what a bottle of Jack would look like if you actually had one," or, "here's a drink, but it's very far away." thing.)

During the concert, I wrote an post in my head, in fic form, with

uberaeryn as Buffy, me as Dawn and

caoilainn as Willow, describing their adventures at the concert. It seemed HILARIOUS at the time. And I was sober! Yeah. Let's just say that the fic didn't get written.

I was Sadly Sober Sue (which Caza brilliantly said should be sitcom staring Brooke Shields) all weekend - which was fine, because it gave me more drunk, that is to say, people watching time. Best moment:

Uberaeryn: (in taxi on the way to concert) It's a cold sumbitch! (to driver) Have you lived here long? Five years? Where are you from?
Driver: Kenya.
Sue: (thinks) Damn! I should have signed up for that Africaxander fic-a-thon - there's a source!
Uberaeryn: Kenya! Shit - you're probably freezing. So, yeah, we're going to the Kemper Arena...KEITH URBAN. (Driver - polite smile.) You'll have to tell me what a good tip is...I mean, you could tell me $20 and I'd think that was okay...hey, is this Warren G? (to Caoilainn) So now you know...how I am on LJ? All spazz and brain dump? Just like I am in life.
Sue: (from where she has been quietly humming along with Warren G and thinking about Africa-Xander) And my RL response to it? Just like my LJ one.
Uberaeryn: Yeah - embarrassed silence.

Le joyeaux sigh. But, as always after the anticipation of a visit and the excitement of new friends and road trips, I crash. That is to say - I play so hard I get tired and bitchy. Or, as my Mom used to say after every one of my slumber parties, I act like a "shit-ass." You don't get more Oklahoma than "shit-ass," y'all. So Caza's been dealing with the shit-ass. The shit-assity should fade just in time for

ladycat777's visit (week of Christmas *and* Hannukah) so that I can way enjoy it, crash, and be a shit-ass just in time for New Year's. Rock!

So I'm bitchy. I have fic to write, fic to read (although, if you will notice, I made an effort last night to catch up on everyone. I tried! I tried!) One of my fave's was

bdbdb's "Make up a Memory" meme. That was fun...I borrowed slightly from Merle Haggard's "My Favorite Memory."

I still have fic to fb from

reremouse,

savoytruffle,

tabaqui,

karabair...okay, lots of you. But I will get there! Oh, and

elcazavampiros updated Anya's Story - 12. God, his Anya voice kills me. And his smutlet wasn't bad, either. If fact, it...okay. No one wants to hear about that.

As well as finish the end of semester crap at work, answer calls from students who want to get into nursing school, didn't get into nursing school (those are fun), send Christmas cards, finish Christmas shopping (online shopping rocks!) make Christmas cookies & candy with Caza and try to get the heck over myself.

Maybe by the time Caza and I are dipping pretzels and 'Nilla wafers into almond bark to make Rudolph Cookies I'll be over my own personal attack on Christmas? I think it's just my own family sitch (or lack thereof) and my Jesus conflict of the past year or so that's causing my ho-ho-ho to hum-hum-hum. Since I'm not that big into the whole presents aspect of the holidays and I'm limited to the family thing being Caza (and occasionally

uberaeryn when she can escape her own) it's just kind of...well, my tree's pretty!!! Okay, I'm getting to see one of my BF LJ's for Christmas (and possibly Stoney, too!) so I'm gonna shut the fuck and have a holly jolly one, okay?

However - my deep bitterness over FOX's handling of "Kitchen Confidential" (not to mention "Arrested Development") has made me too pissy to make a "SQUEE!!" post about the fantastic ep last night on

nolita_nights. The fact that it was so good - oh, holy God Michael Vartan and the Frenchness and the constant touching of Bradley Cooper! And then Nick shoving bread in the guys' mouth's - God. I can't even think about it. It burns! It burns!

I so need a holiday icon. The monkey's red suit in this icon really doesn't count. Anyone know of holiday icon posts?

And, again, sorry that this post was dripping in self-loathing and general holiday malaise. Er...love you guys! *g*

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa Claus - The Roots

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*hugs*

feel better! ennui sucks!

Vartan is a doll-baby isn't he?

i am not sure what your right email address is anymore -- so I just sent a message to the work email. i think i have an idea but wanted to bounce it off you (is re: Groo & Cordy's trip to mexico and, unlike me, you've been!)

Yep - it was in my mailbox! It didn't "ping" 'cause I'm listening to VH-1 Holiday Hooks in an attempt to...you know. Un-Grinch. Will hit you back with info! *mwah*

oh yes.

am partial to this icon. from "The Ref"; is shareable. otherwise, i don't know, as I am the least festive person alive! (hence "The Ref" being my favorite holiday movie)

Hee! I had an Angel one last year with a shiny hat. I'm all the holidays, as you know. I'd celebrate Hannukah if any of my family still remembered how to celebrate it...

I'm still on the look-out...

Hah! Self loathing? I know self loathing, self loathing is a constant companion of mine, and I've had self-loathing besides which that is robuse positive self-esteem!

I've spent ten days in a row now attempting to get Spike and Drusilla out of Oregon before sunrise, and all I've got to show for it is the paint worn off the delete key on my almost new keyboard. There's a reason for self-loathing.

Julia, it's also the time I try and fail to get Franklin to contact the OKC relatives and say Merry Christmas for the 24th December running

Hee--faded delete key. Spike and Dru in Oregon? *is intrigued - which is rare*

The G is almost faded off of my keyboard. Hmm. Giles? G-string? GNOMES??? The possibilities are endless...I'm terrible at relative contact. I should be writing my *gag* Christmas letter, but "Dear Family - Wrote vampire porn - did well! The dogs are fine." Love, Eddie & Sue doesn't quite have the ring...

*snuggles you*

malaise is quite an easy thing during the holidays.

last night's KC was so good. and it made me so sad. when jim was covered in a blanket in jack's office i was thinking about all the lovely fic that could come from this show. but it probably won't because fox is an evil sucking thing. *is sad*

also, you get a visit from

ladycat777? my jealousy can not be contained.

I know! There were so many moments...Jack/Jim, Jack/Steven, Jack/Seth, Seth/Steven, Jack/Michel...it's a slash writer's dream show, you know? So very annoyed with FOX.

Yep - whole three days (I think) with

ladycat777. I will be stuffing her full of Mexican food, watching geeky things while we snuggle on the couch with Caza and Max and eat popcorn...it's my best present this year.

*snuggles close, angles head for braiding access*

SUE!! Love you! I first read your last sentence as if it read "mayonnaise" instead of "malaise." Because of the dripping, you see. Also, I'm eating lunch. I will hug you with a big squishy hug even if you are dripping with mayonnaise, and then I will go change clothes.

The holidays can get you down even if you aren't coming down from an Uberaeryn-Caoilainn-Keith Urban high. All the running around with errands, shopping, pressure to do this, be here and there... It's enough to drive anyone round the bend.

I do love Christmas, just wish it could be toned down a little bit.

Mayonnaise!!! Yes. I am dripping with mayonnaise. I need lunch...I need big, damn lunch. *starving*

I hear tell in New York City, you can have delivered any type of food you want...not so here. Pizza only and...yeah. Starving.

I wish Christmas could be toned down, too. After all the candy making, card sending and small amount of present buying we do, we typically spend Christmas day staring at each other until we find a movie to watch or you know...have naughty elf fun. Or play risque reindeer games. Ahem. But...you know...that's *every* day.

I'll have Christmakah when Ladycat gets here - I'm cooking her a traditional Oklahoma Christmas dinner, and she doesn't know it yet - but she's contributing a Hannukah dish. Hee! Holiday food. Best part for me. Have I ever given you my cheeseball recipe? 'Cause...yum.

Or play risque reindeer games.

*blushes*

Give me the cheeseball recipe! That would be yummy!

HOLIDAY CHEESE BALL
1 package (8 ounces) light cream cheese, softened
2 TBS minced parsley
1 tsp Lea & Perrins Worcestershire
1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 cup Minced onion
1 cup chopped pecans
More parsley
In a bowl, blend cream and cheddar cheeses. Add onion, parsley. Lea & Perrins, and salt; blend well. Shape into a ball. Roll in pecans; roll again in chopped parsley. Chill and serve with assorted crackers, if desired.

My suggestion to you, my dearest darling Sueness, is to start a new fic. Pour it full of all the hate and malice and pain and then send it out into LJ so people can share your misery in the best way. *nod*

Also I heart you.

Winter? You are brilliant. I've said it before, but you know - it's true. Also? Watched Daily Show last night. There was an Eminem iPod commercial. This means something!

Hearts you like OMG so hard.

Hi, Sue! *hearts*

Does it mean I have to write fic? Because I can't. OMG Supernatural.

Although, if I angst, I always default to Spangel. Isn't that wierd? Maybe it's just because it's not Spander, and I can't bring myself to hurt Xander and Spike when they've been hurt so much already. But Spangel loves the pain, so.

I dunno. I can't think. I am a WRITING DYNAMO right now. The words, they POUR, and then sometimes they make sense. I LOVE YOU SUE!

I LOVE YOU WINTER!

And - omg - I just remembered you have a fic I haven't read yet!!!

Spangel - bringin' the pain, bringin' the noise.

Hee! I actually have many, but you are not reading Supernatural slash, and so you LOSE OUT. *glompaglompa*

Oh, Spangel. Seriously - I was moody and bitchy and had general malaise, and I wrote them and they grumped and snarled for me and I felt much better. Oh, I love them.

Here are some holiday bases that are pretty and sparkly.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/twistedswanton/310441.html

Thank you so much! Your's is cool, as well. I found one!!! Yay!!!

Okay, number one? WHY HAVEN'T YOU YSI'd me that song you are listening to????

I, too, have shared in the malaise (or, mayonaise as Anne noted.) Salad dressing for them's up north. I started putting up my tree and listening to Mr. Hankey's Christmas followed by my dad's choir singing traditional Russian hymns (it's a system I have) and FINALLY got into a good place.

I highly recommend it. You should check out my friend

emma_daisy's LJ for some holiday/winter icons. GORGEOUS. She does excellent work (she's a graphic artist by trade, actually.)

Heeeeeeeee! It's on Vh1's Holiday Hooks playlist. LOVE it!!! Of course, it comes along with 98 Degrees and their Christmas album...but...

Yay! Decorated? Mantle, too? Mr. Hankey!!! "Swiss Colony Beef Log" is still my favorite song ever - after "O Holy Night" (the Mahalia Jackson version, not just the Cartman one.)

Wish we could make fudge together...you could fudge...I could Rudolph Cookie...mmm...of course, the non-diet is just adding to my malaise, but hey...I grabbed this icon, but your friend's were pretty, too!

*snuggles you*

I know the feeling of having a fun party-time, bonding-time, hanging-out-and-making-memories time and then....crash!burn!

*pet pet pet pet pet pet*
*pet pet pet pet pet pet*
*pet pet pet pet pet pet*
*pet pet pet pet pet pet*

Icon! So pretty. Very "Little House on the Prairie" - you know? We talked about you as we skirted the edge of MO. You and tattoos. *g*

Do you think you'll make Writercon? 'Cause I'd love to finally meet you...and the irony of us living so close and meeting in Atlanta is fun...

*accepts pets gratefully, needs to write angry fic to purge*

Heeee! I love LHotP. Not the tv show, but the books - yis.
You should have come on over for tattoos!
That would have been so fun.
:)

I dunno - i want want want to do Writercon *so much*.
Money is my big stumbling block, so we will see.

*crosses fingers and toes*

Fic! Okay!
*ahem*
*really, i'm not taking advantage of your ennui to get fic*

I make Christmas cookies. And there's this snowman cutter which if you turn it upside-down looks just like Kenny. So I make about fifty Kennys per year with all the trees and stars and gingerbread whores. And then I find 50 ways to kill Kenny with frosting (make sure you have lots of red for all the blood).

Then instead of everybody being all cheery everyone is shouting Omigawd they killed Kenny and then cannabalizing body parts. Much fun!

I left a review on "Rodeo" which lj may or may not have sent you. I just wanted to let you know how you're converting a serious angsty writey person into "omigawd cowboys all human shiny spurs smut, maybe this season kilts" (but that's

entrenous88, obviously)"!" Looking forward to reading the sequel. And this helps lift that shit-assy feeling, unless you ate a lot of Kenny's about an hour ago and need to go . . . yeah.

Okay. I had this other malaise a while back? Where I thought I had met every person in fandom (LJ wise) who had the potentional to make me grin like a goon at the computer and make strangers ask what's funny ("Kenny cookies? Rodeo shininess? Kilts? What's *not*?) and then I met you. *happy sigh*

I want that cookie cutter!!! I wonder if it's online? (You can find anything online - I found a mooning gnome that totally looked a hot and ready for it gnome for Entre - to my surprise, she wasn't eager to put it in her yard. Well, that and the fact that she lives in NYC and doesn't have a yard, but still...)

I got your fb for Rodeo! I squealed! I replied! LJ didn't send you my comment! It was here. Mwah! Pass some Kenny parts, please.

You think you've met every class A spaz out there and then someone asks for Baryshnikpv/Stalin slash or Angel as Eeyore with Spike the Rabbit riding him, and then I'm reminded that the font of fandom won't ever fail me.

The cookie cutter is old, probably about 30 years old. I'll try to find it though. And try to post pictures of the Kenny cookies. And omg, gnome/Entre = new OTP (sorry Angel-in-a-kilt/sheep. You're so last week.)

And stupid lj. I checked back a couple times because I wanted to make sure you got it and then I just assumed you didn't.

Kenny parts? The head always tastes the best. *ba-dum-ching*

Heh. Good head. Yes! Post pics!!! I'm going to post pics of the cookies Caza and I make this weekend, too. Ours are less scintillating - pretzels and wafers to look like Rudolph Heads. Mmmm. Pretzels...

Oh, and OMG those BBM shots! Dude! Only a week left!!!

I taped KC last night, because I knew it would be good, and I was feeling unhappy about it probably being the last ep. Lame, I know, but we're not a Neilsen household, and I'd rather watch it later tonight or this week when I'm not feeling so cranky about the show's fate.

Also eeeeeeeeeepppp! I totally forgot Vinnie's B-Day! My Semagic did not alert me! Semagic is a hOr!

We DVR'd it and then watched...I was laugh/crying and the entire time thinking, "Dammit!!!" Bastards! And Mimi got to be cute! Can't wait for you to see...I wish I was a Nielsen household. I know almost everyone in Oklahoma, and I know no Nielsen people. Fishy.

I missed her b-day, too!!! My fault, though, for thinking I knew it...

Never fear, I'm totally down with bad moods at the moment. As long as you're not one of the grad students in my program - in which case I pretty much just want you to get the fuck away from me and leave me the fuck alone.

Yeah, I'm a regular ball of sunshine.

*smoochies*

You and me both, missy. I looked for you last night ('til I had to go watch Kitchen Confidential.) You were not abouts. I wept with the sorrow of it all.

Here's hoping we can both will not allow our respective school snarling to interfere with out ability to do good banter. I'm paraphrasing Steel Magnolias there. I know. It's versatility amazes me, too.

You should drive around with some nice soothing music taking pot shots at strangers from your car. I find that winds me down after a stressful day.

I pet you and hug you and totally don't grope you. Because that would be wrong.

*dances crazy for you*

Pot shots! I think I might go bare all the bosoms on the department store manequins, too.

It would be so wrong. Wrong like a fox! (I think I'm ripping you off there - I could be, you know, wrong....)

*claps and tosses chocolate coins and candy cigarettes at your dancing*

we're going to the Kemper Arena...

You were here in KC???!!!! and you didn't TELL me? Here? Right here? And you didn't TELL me????

*weeps*

YOU'RE in KC??? I thought you were in Missouri...which, hang on a mo' - is where one would find KC...noooooooooooo! I would have loved to have seen you!

uberaeryn met one of her "Lost" friends, and we could have hung out and done Sue'n'Snow thingies. *cries* We could have done the super sekkrit Herald editor handshake. *cries*

Nooooooooo! Dude - you have no idea how disappointed I am right now....I spent Friday morning at the Westin, wandering around with coffee all by myself!! We could have hung-out! Dammit! But you're going to Writercon...right?

*clings*

So sad.

I'm up in Leavenworth, about 30 miles N of KC, but babe, I go there all the time.

And yes, I am planning on volunteering and attending WriterCon!

*hugshugshugs*

So sorry I missed you ... and the super!sekrit handshake thingy.

:)

We drove by Leavenworth. I thought prison. *pouts* But yay - we'll bring it in Atlanta. Dude. I'm gonna be so excited at Writercon - I'll be vibrating and possibly pee the carpet. *g*

Eh, that holiday malaise is going around. I floated the idea of skipping it altogether but the fam's not having it. Thought about doing the B'verse wacky holiday card thing for two minutes, lost control and actually posted it and now...meh. They tell me it will pass. And like I'm sure they say in Ok "If you swallow it, you can pass it..."

:::enables you::::
:::is bad bad LJ friend:::

"If you swallow it, you can pass it..." *loves you more than you know*

I did the wacky card thing last year - it was a lot of work. Worth it, though. Enable me! Enable me!

You totally need this for your parents' nativity this year: moo