I Feel Just Like Paris Hilton...With Boobs

[crazydiamondsue]

Lately, my whole life has been an experiment in terror. When it comes to suffering, I'm right up there with Elizabeth Taylor. (Yes, Vin, that was for you.)

First thing: My website, Beauty Effulgent, is unavailable. Because I can't get into my hotmail account, I missed the notifications that ivillage is no longer hosting member websites. So that means my fics, my recs and my tiny archive are offline. As well as my mood theme, dammit!! 'Cause right now, pissed would be GREAT! They're offering to transfer the accounts to Lycos, but I liked ivillage - it was small and didn't have pop-ups. Crap.



Two months ago, I had a nice thing going on LJ. I had a WIP I enjoyed writing, a lively repartee with my flist and I was adored by hun...doz...at least six people.

Now I have a computer that must be travelling back from California to Oklahoma via carrier pigeon or stolen demon gang motorcycle. It's taking that long, anyway.

Also:

A website that doesn't work (may not EVER work?) and hours of linking put into it.

A house that won't be mine for another week and living my entire life in one bedroom, obsessively watching TV and reading Cosmo...okay, kinda like college, so really, kind of fun. Except no sex. Wait a second - exactly like college! (Kidding, Caza. Like freshman year, okay?)

An undying love of Spander that blinded me to all else. I get my computer at work back online and what have I read today?

I can't tell you everything about this, but a sneak peek of stoney321's Buffyverse parody of "Annie" written for Yin's ficathon. Let's just say it involves a song called, "It's a Hard Cock Life," and something so dirty!bad!wrong she's going to have to make several humanitarian gestures. In a word: it's fucking brilliant.

Also:

Spuffy like it was meant to be by uberaeryn
QaF RPS by adis723
Spangel Human AU prison fic by toobusy2write
and
Salon worthy Peace Corps stories by camisha

Oh! Wait!!! I read reremouse and camisha's "In From the Cold" tag fic. Ha! Spander 4-Ever!!!

I want my laptop (and the uncompleted last chapter of Sunday so that it can become the completed last part of Sunday). I want my new house (and someone else to move my furniture in.) I want my website back up and functioning. I want the phone to ring and someone else be responsible for answering it. (Sorry, random work thing.)

Again, this email was just made to inform anyone trying to access my website that it will be temporarily down until I figure out what's up with Lycos. All of this bitching was tongue-in-cheek, btw. Except about the website. I am wicked pissed about that.

Comments

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

You caused me to read this entire entry w/ Dolly Parton's twang in my head and I love you for it.

I want the phone to ring and someone else be responsible for answering it.

*nods vigorously*
And that is exactly why I took the day off.


I finished what was the last posted part of the sequel to the Hollywood!Addict!Brian QaF epic. I didn't know it was the last posted part. I'm devastated. *taps vein on arm* Need more. At least the update wasn't that long ago (January). I may have to join the mailing list. Oh, this is bad. So. Bad.

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

I would write you some QaF methodone right this minute if I could smoke. Sorry, I can only write when I can smoke, which makes writing at work impossible. I know - it's bad - it's stinky - it's wrong, but it works for me. And pots illegal. Or so the Russians would have us believe...I have no idea what that quote is from, and I've been saying it for years...

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

No. Methodone bad.Do you realize I've read 157 chapters in 5 days!! I need to go cold turkey, take it one day at a time.

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

That sounds like I was referencing smoking pot. For the record: I do not write while high. I *have* written while high - poetry in fact - with uberaeryn. It went like this:

Sue: For upon glistening mount, first light did gleam, dark did displace, and gentle silence broken by...

Kathy: Give me some candy, cheese face!

And that, children, is why you should never take drugs and write. Unless you're Radiohead. Or Pink Floyd. Or Doves...

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

1. Quit 'splaining yerself, I totally understood you! Dork.
2. What's wrong with writing fanfic while high? Um, forget I said that. Can other people see this!?!?! Eavesdroppers.

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

I know *you* knew but I was afraid others would be reading this and think that I wrote Sunday high. And they might try to ply me with drugs to get me to...hey...wait a minute...

Wrong number! Wrong number!

Ah, drug paranoia jokes are funny. I want that you should make me some icons. Wanna? Just bases with like one quit phrase on them like:

Quit it!
Sumbitch!

And other ejaculations that occur to me.

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

LJ isn't emailing me you replies. Hurrumph!

You said 'ejaculation', I heard you! Careful though, the walls have ears.

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

Oh and yes to the icons, get 'em to you by tommorrow afternoon. Any other phrases that tickle your fancy?