Sum of My Parts

[crazydiamondsue]

Hi, fandom! I know if you're anything like me, you don't post for a few years and then write a multi-fandom opinion piece about every fic you've read in the past 13 years.

I'm going to talk about my kinks, squicks, tropes, and fic recs in ALL of my many few fandoms since 2004.

Questions to be posed and perhaps answered include:

Why does mpreg only work for me in the Harry Potter verse?

Why does A/B/O leave me cold? (Actually we can answer that right here: drooling sphincter).

Why do crossovers only work for me if you cross a genre fandom with Queer as Folk? Everyone likes the thumpa-thumpa?

What is it about me that loves? Adores? Obsesses?

Will I ever get tired of J2 AU fic (that doesn't involve drooling sphincters)?

Will I be the person who reads every grammatically correct Harry Potter fic ever written (and some of the wonky syntax ones)? Is there a Guinness category for this? How would I prove it?

Why do epithets annoy the fuck out of me, but pet names don't? Ask the former Army doctor for me, love.

Please join me, if you would, and we'll explore this (and my obsession with kid!fic!) as we scroll through time, space, wizarding space, and navel gazing.


Buffyverse
Oh, Buffy. My first and forever fandom. Buffy introduced me to the reality of fanfic (although I'd tried as a kid to write continuations of stories I'd loved). My memories of my time in Buffy fandom are both idealized and truly that ideal. I met an astonishing amount of bright, talented, educated people. I read a dizzying array of scholarly meta over women's issues, hero myths, queer culture, vampire lore, literary criticism, ethics and morality, religion and iconography, the fetishistic treatment of queer culture by straight writers, and fetishes in general. My time in Buffy fandom was social, obsessive, intellectual, political, entertaining, and at times rather sexual. And the fic! Great googley-moogley did I read fic.

Pairings I read most: Spike/Xander, Xander/Angel, Spike/Angel, Xander/Giles
Pairings I liked but didn't read that often: Spike/Buffy, Buffy/Angel, Buffy/Faith, Xander/Cordelia, Xander/Faith, Willow/Spike, Riley/Xander, Drusilla/Spike, Cordelia/Faith, Wesley/Angel, Lindsey/Angel
Pairings I loved but could never find enough of: Spike/Tara, Cordelia/Gunn, Xander/Dawn, Angel/Darla
Pairings I didn't care for at all: Most types of incest (Buffy/Dawn), although I did find Angel/Connor oddly compelling, Wesley/Gunn (I liked the friendship), Buffy/Willow, Giles/Willow (incest-y in a way I didn't find Giles/Xander of Giles/Buffy).
OT3: Spike/Xander/Angel, Spike/Buffy/Angel

Squicks:

Absolutely any fic that ignored Jossverse vampire lore: i.e. vampires are people without souls who still retain personalities tainted by a demon and have loose alliances with other vampires and demons. Jossverse vampires do not: cry blood tears, use the word childe or childer, or have a giant kingdom of vampires of which Spike is heir. I didn't mind Spike taking his consort to Angel for an almost-sire's blessing IF everyone is in character and I didn't mind a claiming mark since it's almost canon via Buffy & Angel. I loathed Spike and Angel adhering to archaic vampire traditions and setting themselves up as Master Vampires.

Xander being raped by Uncle Rory. He had shitty parents, sure, but please don’t use child molestation as an impetus for Spike’s healing cock. Gross.

Britishisms in American characters. If Xander "pops 'round to the chemist" more than once in a fic, I'm out.

Buffy, Willow, Anya or any other female character bashing. They're not mean to Xander, they're his best friends. People fuck up, people get in fights, it's part of life: write well-rounded characters.

Repetition of an already tired fanon phrase. I'm looking at you, "Yours!" "Mine!"

Riley as a scenery chewing, always-been-evil, making-more-orifices-in-Spike-to-rape villain. Jesus. Just no.

Motherfucking epithets. "The chocolate-eyed boy." "The blond British vampire" (as opposed to what ginger British vampire, do you suppose?). And my least favorite: the former librarian. FORMER??? Why would you use a past designation, I don't...for fuck's sake, just say GILES!!!

Sex as a cure for abuse, rape, addiction or suicide attempts. Are you people 12? Actually, that's an insult to 12 year-olds

Blood as lube. I'm okay with spit (vampire healing variety or no) or kitchen oil.

All-powerful-Xander. Why?

Preternatural - find a new word, kids

Xander bashing. He was right about Angelus and about Spike hurting Buffy. Let it go. He also talks the way regular, non-rapist high school boys talked/acted in the late 90s – he probably got completely woke in his 30s, alright?

Kinks:

Giles's apartment, Giles's music, Giles's Scotch, Giles smoking, Giles living in England, Giles speaking various languages, bisexual Giles, Ripper, Giles remembering Joyce with a muted ache, toppy-as-fuck-Giles.

Xander's hair (Season 5) and arms (Season 5). Xander in tanktops, Xander's apartment with the twinkle lights, Xander loving Anya, bisexual Xander, Africa Xander, martial arts learning Xander, Watcher-Lite Xander, Xander in London, tan Xander, always-there-for-Buffy-and-Willow Xander, petty with Spike and Angel Xander (especially if he's boning them), Xander taking Spike to Wal-Mart to shop before a roadtrip and/or going on the run, phone sex working Xander, strong-successful-giddy-male Xander

Spike's duster, Spike's here and there accent, emotional Spike, black nail polish Spike, turned-a-virgin Spike, deflowered-by-Angelus Spike, truly loved Dru and Buffy Spike, finds Xander hilarious Spike, will always have a thing for Angel Spike, living in the crypt Spike, wanting-to-be-a-hero Spike, redeemed before the chip Spike, kinda liked Willow and Giles even when he was evil Spike, world traveling Spike, martial arts ass kicking Spike, always close to Dawn Spike, power bottom Spike, falls in love easily Spike, loyal till he's fucked over Spike, really was fucking evil back in the day and he'll never get over it Spike

Buffy's fucking adorable hair, Buffy's teeny perfect body and perky boobs, Buffy's mastery of every form of martial arts, stronger than Spike and Angel Buffy, always loves Angel deeply Buffy, loved Spike in spite of herself Buffy, more sexually deviant than you'd think Buffy, will always need Xander, Willow and Giles Buffy, goes shopping with Dawn whenever she can Buffy, best friends with benefits with Faith even when she's in another relationship Buffy, probably ends up with Angel Buffy, likes to fuck in cemeteries Buffy

Sarcastic Angel, always just a tiny bit Angelus Angel, SMOKING ANGEL HOLY SHIT, white tank Angel, always in love with Buffy Angel, wished he could have loved Cordy better Angel, always hot for Darla and Spike Angel, sees a lot of Buffy in Xander Angel, truly loves Wesley in myriad ways almost as much as he loves Buffy and Connor, broken over Connor Angel, self-righteous and it is hot Angel, artist Angel, really admired Gunn Angel, deeply sorry he lost Giles's respect Angel, truly kind of hilarious Angel, misses the Hyperion and Fred and Cordy and Wesley more than he can say Angel

Red-headed Willow, geeky Willow, computer nerd Willow, funny hats Willow, always loves Oz Willow, conflicted over her sexuality Willow, deeply loved Tara Willow, incredibly brilliant but a danger to herself Willow, had a crush on Faith despite herself Willow, really hated Anya Willow, stronger than she knows Willow, acres of creamy red-head skin Willow, toppy as fuck Willow

Tara’s hair even with the zig-zag part and roots, Tara’s boobs, shy Tara, “A cramp? In your…pants?” Tara, “She needs back-up” Tara, lopsided half smile Tara, friends with Buffy Tara, mother figure for Dawn Tara, snarking at Spike Tara (especially if she’s boning him), bisexual Tara, lesbian Tara, virgin Tara, blunt red nails Tara, great at giving head Tara, painting anything on her back Tara

Dancing Anya, demony Anya, bunny hating Anya, hooking up with Giles Anya, hooking up with Tara in a dressing room Anya, heels wearing Anya, laughing Anya, forthright Anya, vulnerable Anya, hanging out with Andrew Anya, role playing with Xander Anya, threeway with Spike/Xander Anya.

Leather pants Faith, Faith’s hair, Faith’s lips, Faith shipped with absolutely everyone, vulnerable Faith, ass kicking Faith, Boston accent Faith, Faith with glitter lipstick, dancing Faith, bloody Faith, rain wet Faith, Faith-as-Buffy, Faith/Buffy, Faith pegging the shit out of Spike, just pretty much Faith.

ATS: The Hyperion, Lilah in a suit, Gavin’s cheekbones, Angel’s laugh, Cordelia’s smile, Wesley’s everything, Gunn’s eyes, Gunn’s truck, Angel taking everyone to ballets and operas and revivals of “Agnes of God,” Lorne singing, Illyria, Illyria/Wesley, Spike/Angel 4-eva, Spike/Buffy/Angel, did I mention the Hyperion?, Angel’s tract lighting at Wolfram and Hart, Angel fucking Lindsey against every surface during every season of the show, Gunn-Cordy-Wesley friendship 4-ever, “If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.”

What I loved most about this fandom:

Of the fic I wrote in BtVS, three of them: Training Day, Angel/Xander; Post-Apocalyptic Trends, Spike/Xander, mpreg; and Sunday Morning Coming Down, Spike/Xander still get regular kudos and likes from AO3 and a couple of other archives despite being a dozen years old, and that tickles me like whoa.

Really, really well written character studies and gen fic:

“Without Ceremony” by elenabtvs, “The Gift” coda
http://bifictionalbedlam.slashcity.net/guests/withoutceremony.html

"A Raising in the Sun" by Rahirah, Gen
https://archiveofourown.org/works/8676

“Blood Types” by lettered, Angel character study
http://archiveofourown.org/works/93924

Shipper fic with an ensemble:

"And Other Strangers" by Likeadeuce, Wesley/Cordy, "Birthday" verse
http://winter-of-wes.livejournal.com/13222.html

"Fast Forward to a Few Years Later" by Real Mitzvah, Giles/Xander, post-"Chosen"
http://web.archive.org/web/20051030111953/http://www.seeking-solace.com/NoOneKnows-GX/fiction/FastForward.htm

“Long Time Gone” by Yin, Spike/Xander, post-“Chosen”
http://spanderfiles.com/arvs/yin/ltg/ltg06.html

"Nice Shirt" by Glossing, Xander/Oz, early series
https://archiveofourown.org/works/319478

Really gritty grudge fucking:

“He Never Did Listen” by viciouswishes, Xander/Angel, post-“Damage”
http://viciouswishes.livejournal.com/602705.html

“Tooth & Nail” by KJ Draft, Spike/Buffy, missing scene between “Smashed” and “Wrecked”
http://offline.buffy.de/outlink_en.php?module=/webserver/offline/www.firepretty.com/onegoodlay/tu/toothandnail.html

"Vicarious" by Lynne, Spike/Angel
http://www.octavesoftheheart.com/sublime/vicarious.htm

Random Shit That I Re-Read All Time Not Listed Above

"A Long Time" by Mad Poetess, Spike/Xander posts-series
http://www.crackedverse.com//stakes/fic/longtime.html

"A Mile in My Shoes" by Neena, Giles/Buffy, Spike/Xander, Giles/Xander, Spike/Buffy
http://archiveofourown.org/works/3816775

"A Place Called Home" by Green and Laydcat, Spike/Xander
http://archiveofourown.org/works/46258

"A World of Their Own" by Jameschick, Spike/Xander, post-"The Gift"
http://spanderfiles.com/arvs/jameschick/world.html

"An Encyclopedia of Why Not" by Romany, Spike/Dawn
http://romanyg.livejournal.com/80538.html

"Damage Done" by chrisleeoctaves, Angel/Riley
http://www.octavesoftheheart.com/octaves/damagedone.htm

"Delust or Dust" by dampersandspoons, Spike/Buffy
http://seven-seasons.livejournal.com/207500.html

"Done to Death" by Anne Hedonia, Spike/Tara
http://www.allaboutspike.com/fic.html?id=276

"Expecting" by Entre Nous, Spike/Xander, Mpreg
http://archiveofourown.org/works/460880?view_full_work=true

"Fair Play" by chrisleeoctaves, Buffy/Angel
http://chrisleeoctaves.livejournal.com/198159.html

"Gods and Monsters" by Maren, Faith/Cordy (travel kink! and multi-chap femslash!)
http://maren.insanejournal.com/9322.html

"In the Mix" by Yindagger, Spike/Xander, mix tape road trip
http://spanderfiles.com/arvs/yin/inthemix.html

"Lamb of God" by Lostakasha, Drusilla & Angel
http://lostakasha.livejournal.com/13127.html

"Le Fée Verte" by whirlpoolsleep, Xander & Dru
https://archiveofourown.org/works/62010

"Les Miserables de Sunnydale" by Elcazavampiros, Ensemble, "Les Miz remix"
http://elcazavampiros-ivil.tripod.com/id47.html

"My Angel" by Kita, Angel meta
http://www.fangedfour.com/deadboy/myangel.htm

"Older" by Nautibitz, Spike/Buffy
http://nautibitz.com/fic/older/index.html

"Perpetuity" by likeadeuce, Wesley/Lilah
https://archiveofourown.org/works/62758

"Safe as Houses" by a2zmom, Buffy/Angel
http://a2zmom.livejournal.com/253573.html

"Saturation" by Jane Davitt and Wesleysgirl, Spike/Xander/Giles
http://www.janedavitt.com/Saturation1.html

"Sense Memory" by Lynne, Buffy/Riley/Angel
http://www.octavesoftheheart.com/sublime/sensememory.htm

"There is No Happily Ever After" by Stoney, Connor
http://stoney321.livejournal.com/179198.html

"This One Does" by Still_Lost, Spike/Giles
http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=uberaeryn&keyword=Jossverse+Series+Giles/Spike&filter=all

"Woman" by Ladycat, Spike, Xander & Dawn
http://www.subtle-salvation.com/Stories/woman.htm

The amount of meta and scholarly essay and hardcore fannishness I saw in Buffy fandom. The vids! It was incredibly social with a lot of dialogue, comment threading and discussion panels. In a modern day fandom composed of kudos and reblogs, I miss that more than I can say.

Tropes

Addiction: Hard pass

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics: Hard no.

Amnesia: Well, how else is Xander going to think he and Spike are basement dwelling lovers?

Animal Transformation: Almost never. I’m not a huge fan of werewolf lore, but some canon Oz wolfing is fine, Xander transforming into a kitten is just not my thing.

Apocafic: This is the only fandom where it’s an enthusiastic yes.

BDSM: With Buffy’s canon bondage, bullwhips, handcuffs and dungeons? Uh, yeah. Although oddly not so much with Spike/Xander for me, even though the best bare hand spanking scene I’ve still every read was MP’s “Chocolatey Goodness.”

Bodyguard: I don’t remember reading this in Buffy fic? But probably?

Bodyswap: Canon or fanon, fuck yeah. I don’t even care who or why.

Chan: No, unless we’re talking about the Scooby Gang at 16.

Crossover: Almost never. There’s a Buffy and Justin Taylor from QaF gen fic I like, but otherwise my Buffyverse is an unmixy thing.

Dark Fic: Angelus

De-Aging: Not really, other than that one Mad_Poetess wrote a long time ago with little Welsey and Angel? Maybe?

Domestic: Is Xander building a shower in Spike’s crypt? Are Buffy and Angel having a baby? Are Wesley and Gunn painting Cordy’s apartment? I’m there.

Epistolary: Sure.

Holiday: Doesn’t matter what fandom. Yes.

Forced Marriage: I pretty much hate weddings in real life. In fic? I’ll be throwing the birdseed.

Genderswap: Maybe? Rarely? I’d really like to see Buffy as a guy with Spike. I don’t think I’ve ever read that. I’ve read a couple Xander-wakes-as-a-girl fic and they were sexist as hell – not really a fan with BtVS characters.

Historical AU: Fanged Four, yes.

Human AU: As the writer of “Rodeo,” I can’t say never. I also love the hell out of Nautibitz’s “Older” and “The S Curve,” the high school Xander/Angel AU that Tesla wrote. It has to be really well written AU, though, I liked my vamps vamps. Or Shanshu’d.

Hurt/Comfort: I don’t know of Buffy fic that isn’t.

Kidfic: Does Connor count? I don’t know that I’ve read that much actual kidfic in Buffyverse. It’s not really my thing with this fandom, but I’d read it if it were well written.

Incest: Nope.

In Vito Veritas: Forced to tell your deepest secrets? To describe how much you want someone? How much you LOVE someone? Oh, hell yes.

Isolated or Trapped: “I mean, I'm, uh, all sweaty and trapped, no memory, hiding in a pipe from a vampire...” That’d be a yes.

Military: Canon Riley or canon Xander memories, okay. That thing with Angel and Spike on the sub? No.

Mpreg: Only if it’s light-hearted and fun like Entre Nous’s “Expecting.” Otherwise meh.

Prison: Yes to “Bent Justice,” but this isn’t a favorite trope of mine. Too rapey.

Pornstar: Yes. Regardless of fandom.

Pretend Couple/Relationship: Yes.

Rentboy/Prostitute: I could be persuaded.

Sex Compulsion: Yes, but really only if only works because they already wanted it, LOL. I’m a sap.

Slavery/Sex Slave: It would have to be VERY well written and not gratuitous. Probably my least favorite trope.

Soulbond: Not in this fandom.

Spy/Secret Agent: Not so much in this fandom, other the Watcher’s Council doing some sort of surveillance.

Time Travel: Teenage Giles? Victorian Spike? Décolletage Darla? Oh, hell yes.

Travel: HUGE kink. Xander in England with Giles? Buffy and Angel in Florence? Faith and Buffy in Tucumcari? Pack your bags. I’m there.

Werewolves: Other than a canon mention of Oz in the cage or the phases of the moon, I just don’t care. I don’t find it sexy at all.

Wingfic: Not in this fandom. Nope.

What I Hate About This Fandom
It's over *ugly cry* and I miss threading with all of you.


Queer as Folk
QAF was a fandom lite. cityphonelines and I got super 'shippy over Brian/Justin and started reading fic. That was a weird, locked down tight fandom. Evidently the show's producers were heavy-handed with the cease & desist, so in order to get into locked communities and websites you had to know a guy who knew a guy. Still, I read a few dozen fics (I was a fan of the FIX-IT Brian Justin fic) and bit of Randy/Gale RPF. I don't have a lot to say about this fandom or my reading habits. Cityphonelines wrote a really darling fic for me about Tequila Rose shots at Babylon: Rosebud. I read a good Hollywood AU. The absolute best crossover I ever read was a Buffy and Justin gen fic where Buffy rescues Justin from vamps on his way home from a party (don't remember why she was in Pittsburgh). They grab a coffee after and kvetch about their boyfriends Angel and Brian. Buffy's winning the whinge war when Justin says, "Oh, yeah? Well, is your boyfriend way older than you, thinks he knows more than you do, broke up with you for your own good, and then shows up unexpectedly at your prom?!" And Buffy's all "Say whaaaaat?" Sadly, that archive is lost to time.

Also this fucking video:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SeIu5qxnfd0
Angel/Brian, AtS/QAF crossover to "Touched" by Vast

Pairings I read most: Brian/Justin (occasional Randy/Gale)
Pairings I liked but didn't read: Brian/Emmett
Pairings I loved but could never find enough of: Michael/Ben

I don't like crossovers. Except this one:
"A Taste of Liberty" by lamardeuse, Harry Potter and Queer as Folk
http://archiveofourown.org/works/89806

My biggest QAF memory is "THE BRAIN EATER." The first "Brain Eater" I ever read was Lazuli's Spander fic "Repossession." I define a brain eater as a WIP that starts out with a certain premise, deviates madly and then writes on in an outward spiral of WTF? until either the reader gives up in exhaustion 100 chapters in or the story concludes. The QaF brain eater was an actor AU where Brian had starred as a teen in a cult classic gay film and then was tapped to play the lead in either a gay remake of "Brian's Song" or a gay homage to "Brian's Song" (I can't remember which). And then it just got fucking weird and involved Tom Hanks and Ashton Kutcher and fox hunting in England, and I gave up. I only read the Brian/Justin pairing (and maybe one Brian/Emmett?) and I don't have any real thoughts on squicks or kinks. I do remember that QAF fic wasn't very porny because of the content of the show, and more about character study or emotional investigation of the 'ships. Oh, and I read a really good Justin/Brian where Justin woke up in a world where QAF was a TV show on Showtime. And that was years before SPN went there with "The French Mistake."


Supernatural/J2
After AtS ended, I really floundered in fandom. Through 2005 I rode a high of post-Buffyverse inspiration and fannish love, but as 2005 ticked in 2006, a lot of my Buffyverse fen started trickling away into Stargate and Supernatural and Lost. I missed the first season of SPN because I'd tried to watch the Pilot and just couldn't get past the fact that it wasn't the Buffyerse, dammit! I also had a long standing meh about Jensen Ackles (mainly over his early 2000s hair). I finally forced myself through the Pilot and around about "Hell House," I fell in love with Sam Winchester. I'm live journal friends with Jane Davitt, writer of the first Sam/Dean fic. I'm real life best friends with one of the mods from Winchester Bros. I attended the first convention Jared and Jensen did together in 2007. I've watched every season of the show (except the last 3 of the current season -- my DVR screwed up) and I own most of the seasons. And yet I've always been fandom adjacent with SPN. I really enjoyed the first 5 seasons of the show. I've really enjoyed several episodes since then. I have vivid (non-sexual) dreams about Jared and Jensen often. And yet I'm just not that invested socially (I know 2 mods from WinBros and maybe 4 other people who really like the show). I've never been tempted to write fic. And yet I own like 4 of Jared's AKF shirts. It's a weird friends with occasional benefits relationship.

Pairings I read most: Jared/Jensen RPF, Sam/Dean
Pairings I liked but didn't read: Dean/Benny, Sam/Jess, Sam/1st Meg/Dean, Sam/Fake!Ruby
Pairings I loved but could never find enough of: John/Jo, JDM/Jensen, Jared/Christian Kane
Pairings I didn't care for at all: Dean/Castiel
OT3: Sam/1st Meg/Dean, Jared/Danneel/Jensen

I can't decided if it would be easier to split SPN into one group and J2 into another, but I still have 3 more fandoms, so all together then:
Squicks:

SPN: Incest will they/won't they hand wringing that drags on forever. Once you've read, "Gasp! Sam, we're brothers! It's wrong! Dirty, bad wrong!" about 10 times, you're desensitized and over it. Just start shucking those Diesel jeans and get in the backseat of that Chevy.

SPN: Castiel sexually with Sam or Dean in any way.

SPN: Female character bashing, whether it was Jess, Jo, Ruby...look, I don't have time to list all the dead women on this show. You know what I mean.

Dean Winchester was born in 1979. He couldn't have possibly have learned how to make pipe bombs from youtube as a teen. Just trust me.

SPN: Apocalypse. There's one I make fun of constantly as the "avian bird flu" fic. I'm not sure that she actually called it avian bird flu (as opposed to just avian flu or bird flu) but it's a ridiculous apocalypse fic involving walking from Canada to California. Actually, that might be a J2 fic. Whoops.

J2: Jensen's parents' religiosity and homophobia reaching Piper Laurie in "Carrie" levels

J2: Britishisms. This is especially egregious if the writer spends ages introducing Jared and Jensen in Texas with Jared's Texas belt buckles and Jensen's boots and steaks and pickups and country music and then they ask each other if they can "'pop round to yours tonight for a proper snog." Jesus, Lord, no. Also San Antonio is the second largest city in Texas -- Jared didn't grow up in the 'country.' Also, we love enchiladas and chicken fried steak with cream gravy but we don't eat them at the same time. And lastly, Austin is a funky, liberal city with a vibe similar to that of Portland or Boulder, so please stop with the rampant homophobia-filled street fights. Just...no.

J2: Mentally disabled Jared without the ability to provide consent. Mentally disabled Jared who has agency and knows his own wants and needs is fine.

J2: Random A/B/O. What do I mean by random? Jensen's an ad exec. Jared's his hardworking IT guy! They've always noticed each other in the elevator...and then one day it hits them -- Jared's and unbound Alpha and twenty-six year-old-old Jensen is having his first heat! Just...why? WHY?

"Blown pupils" and "pupils blown wide" in every sex scene in every fic.

And speaking of hive mind, this sentence structure:
Jensen knew he should tell Jared the trust about his feelings, but he'd never felt this way about anyone before and it just.
Jared looked into Jensen's verdant green orbs and watch the emotion in them spill over like a sunrise across mountain tops and it just.
Jared bit his lip, hips stuttering between Jensen's thighs as his body lit up from the inside and the feeling just.

J2: Apocafic, the above mentioned A/B/O, mpreg, most true-to-life RPF about Jared and Jensen's real life careers, families or friendship, any kind of dystopian or sci-fi scenario.

Kinks:

SPN: Weecest or Teencest. Give me 14 year old Sam and 18 year old Dean and I am a happy, pervy Sue.

SPN: Fuck or die. Any time, anywhere.

SPN: John knows. Unf!

SPN: Retired, domestic, living in a cabin, old men in flannel.

SPN: GENDERSWAP. Girl!Dean. Girl!Sam. Shopping for bras!!!!

SPN: Sam's giant hands anywhere on Dean.

SPN: Pretend boyfriends/husbands/loooooovers

SPN: Impala sex. Motel sex. Bobby's danger room sex. In their bedroom after John goes to sleep sex

SPN: Case fic / place fic. Give me the boys on the road in a well described city or town.

J2: AUs all the time, all the way. I want doctor/patient, model/photographer, daddy/manny, actor/dog walker, barista/customer.

J2: Jared Padalecki hooking up with Christian Kane between or before Jensen shippage.

J2: High school, college, camp, choir, theater program, sports team AU

J2: Related to the above: Jensen as Jared's TA/RA

J2: Student/Teacher

J2: Growing up together

J2: Gay activist Jared

J2: Geek Jensen

J2: Kid fic

J2/SPN: Size kink - Hung!Jared, height differential

What I loved most about this fandom:

SPN: Really creative, original gen fic:

"Green and Gamboge" by sevenfists, Jensen-centric, gremlins
http://sevenfists.livejournal.com/127973.html

"Accidents Will Happen" by Holli, John Winchester-centric
http://holli.dreamwidth.org/184779.html

SPN: Weecest. Cityphonelines and I went through the biggest Weecest phase about 6 years ago.

"All I Wanna Do Is Make a Mess Out of You" by bluesoaring, Sam/Dean, weed
http://blue-soaring.dreamwidth.org/4920.html

Genderswap

"Flood of Water" by sevenfists, Girl!Dean
http://sevenfists.livejournal.com/83527.html

Dialogue

"Exact Change" by dontyouwaitup, Sam/Dean
"Sam? Hell. He's back in the room, listening to Death Cab for Fall Out Disco or whatever, crying into his Jane Magazine. I don't know."
https://www.scribd.com/document/86978286/Exact-Change-by-yourperiphery

"Happy Ending" by longsufferingly, Sam/Dean
"I top," says Dean.
"How much fic did you have to read to find that?"
"Uh."
http://longsufferingly.livejournal.com/33585.html

AUs. I've read a few SPN fics that I loved, but nothing like I loved J2 AUs. I could read nothing but J2 college AU for the rest of my life and die a happy person.

"Faint Stars and Bright Satellite Skies" by marishna, J2, Hollywood/regular guy
http://marishna.livejournal.com/352130.html

"Things I Learned My Freshman Year of College" by aleia, College AU
http://certainentropy.livejournal.com/8766.html

"Counting the Steps to the Door of Your Heart" by annella, College AU
http://annella.livejournal.com/1061203.html

"Restraint" by DarkEmeralds, Regency AU
https://archiveofourown.org/works/61002

"Homework!Verse" by thenyxie, Teacher/student
http://thenyxie.livejournal.com/tag/homework%21verse

"Next Man Up" by rhythmsextion, Football AU
http://pianoforeplay.livejournal.com/24444.html

"Until You're Resting Here with Me" by nyxocity, Time Travel AU
https://archiveofourown.org/works/368660

"Beautiful Disaster" by nyxocity, Rock!star AU
https://archiveofourown.org/works/442979

"Maybe This" by alwayseven & nubreed, Hooker AU
https://archiveofourown.org/works/760220

"Topspin" by lazydaze, Tennis AU
http://lazy-daze.livejournal.com/567316.html

"To the Beat of Our Noisy Hearts" by lostt1, College AU
http://lostt1.livejournal.com/187479.html

"Runaway Sensation" by obsessedone, Rock!star AU
https://archiveofourown.org/works/10578624

"And the Rest, They Say, Is History" by raina_at, Hollywood/dog walker
http://raina-at.livejournal.com/271229.html

"By All Means, Rome" by deirdre_c, Hollywood/writer in Rome
https://archiveofourown.org/works/177913

"Watching Him Fall" by facetofcathy, Jensen/Danneel/Jared AU
https://archiveofourown.org/works/4221

"Screw You, We're From Texas" by makeit_takeit, Texas-kink
http://makeit-takeit.livejournal.com/7249.html

Tropes

Addiction: Hard drinking Dean is ok, not interested otherwise

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics: Hard no. (And thank you SO much for taking over AU J2.)

Amnesia: Well, how else are Sam and Dean going to stop caring that they're brothers?

Animal Transformation: Almost never.

Apocafic: Weirdly uninterested.

BDSM: No with SPN, but doable for J2.

Bodyguard: A J2 fave.

Bodyswap: Definitely in SPN.

Chan: I'm a naughty Weecest shipper. J2 as long as it's not 13 and 28 or something.

Crossover: One exception: Faith the Vampire Slayer guest star.

Dark Fic: Evil!Sam

De-Aging: SPN ok

Domestic: HUGE kink in SPN. J2 is no big deal, but I really want Sam and Dean curtain fic.

Epistolary: Maybe? Sam's journal or something?

Holiday: Doesn’t matter what fandom. Yes.

Forced Marriage: J2 hard kink.

Genderswap: Girl!Sam! Girl!Dean! Probably my fave fandom for gender swap. Not interested for J2.

Historical AU: Yes, if well written.

Human AU: Not interested -- I want Sam and Dean to hunt monsters. I want J2 to live in a realistic world -- no monsters, robots or aliens.

Hurt/Comfort: Sure.

Kidfic: Not so much in SPN but hell yes for J2.

Incest: Wincest, Weecest, Teencest, sure. No in J2.

In Vito Veritas: SPN: God yes. J2: Sure?

Isolated or Trapped: All those long legs tangled together? Guh...

Military: J2 soldiers? Yum.

Mpreg: With the exception of "The Seahorse," nope.

Prison: SPN: Yes, it's canon. J2: I think I've read one? Not a fave.

Pornstar: Yes, yes, yes!!!

Pretend Couple/Relationship: SPN: Fave. J2: So much fun.

Rentboy/Prostitute: SPN: Meh. Too dark. J2: Hot like burning.

Sex Compulsion: SPN fave. J2 meh.

Slavery/Sex Slave: It would have to be VERY well written and not gratuitous. Probably my least favorite trope.

Soulbond: SPN: Soulmates sure. J2: Maybe.

Spy/Secret Agent: SPN: Fake agents yes. J2: Love this trope.

Time Travel: SPN: canon, so sure. J2: I read a J2 "Quantum Leap" fusion I loved.

Travel: HUGE kink. Sam and Dean in NOLA? Or NYC? Or Mexico? Yep. J2 in Rome? *kisses fingertips*

Werewolves: No.

Wingfic: Sam with wings is a yes. Otherwise I don't care.

Things I Hate About This Fandom
If I meet someone new who's a current fan, 99.9% of the time they aren't interested in talking about the canon, the lore, the longevity, the family business, or the two stars. They want to talk about their Destiel 'ship full stop. If I may quote Tommy Lee Jones: "I. Don't. Care."

Teen Wolf
Teen Wolf was another fandom lite. So you know that thing where I don't care about werewolves? Yeah. I've never really put a lot of thought into why. I loved "The Howling" as a kid. I've seen "An American Werewolf in London." I sing "Werewolves of London" every Halloween. I think my biggest issue is the ability to convincingly portray a man/wolf hybrid with makeup and CGI. Buffy's was dog-like. Harry Potter's was a CGI abomination. Teen Wolf's was a Wolverine type facial hair bit, and that bothered me the least. I think my biggest problem with the genre is that what I like about shipping is two things: 1) reason, 2) ritual. I want characters who are culpable -- no lizard brain dominance; I want them to know and acknowledge what they want, whether it's violence or infidelity or barely legal. I want social constructs -- dates and events and holidays and cohabitation and marriages and children and aging and families organic or created. The whole "beast within" and its possibility to ravish just doesn't do anything for me. But I thought the juxtaposition of Stiles and Derek was hilarious. Plus stoney321 wrote fanfic for that fandom so, you know. This was an INCREDIBLY entitled fandom, though, with showrunner Jeff Davis teasing his fandom, offering up fan service, and fans blurring the lines between canon and fanon like no other show I've ever watched. I was way too old for this fandom, and I felt it. When Tyler Hoechlin and Crystal Reed left the show, so did I.

Pairings I read most: Stiles/Derek
Pairings I liked but didn't read: Scott/Allison, Stiles/Lydia, Jackson/Danny
Pairings I loved but could never find enough of: Derek/Jackson

Squicks

The ever-popular Britishisms. I used an example once that never in the history of the world would a California kid like Stiles say that at least their cafeteria, "Could do a proper curry." I still laugh reading that, and I wrote it.

Any sort of non-con with Peter and Stiles.

Under utilizing Lydia.

Forgetting Scott and Stiles are best friends.

Treating Melissa, Sheriff Stiles and Chris Argent as if they were hella old

Malia

All of those white look-alike kids they cast after Tyler Hoechlin left

Kinks

Age differential

Chris Fucking Argent

Allison with a crossbow

Stiles mocking Derek

Stiles's Jeep

The Hale/Argent feud

Time travel

Teenage Derek

Virgin!Stiles

Jackson

Derek's Pack: Erica, Isaac and Boyd

Hale family lore

Things I loved liked about this fandom:

This will be easy.

AUs

"The Skies Above Are Blue" by Trelkez, Stiles/Derek, Holidays AU
https://archiveofourown.org/works/935102

"Paper Airplanes" by RemaineNameless, Stiles/Derek, teacher/student AU
https://archiveofourown.org/works/837758

"The Great Pretender" by talktowater, Stiles/Derek, 50s AU
https://archiveofourown.org/works/591640

"I Wish That I Could See You Soon" by talktowater, Stiles/Derek, my fave rock band AU
https://archiveofourown.org/works/574361

Pack Dyanmics

"(Sacred) In the Ordinary" by idyll, Stiles/Derek
https://archiveofourown.org/works/406369

"Famous Last Words" by JenNova, Stiles/Derek
https://archiveofourown.org/series/26092

"Every Step You Take" by Nokomis, Stiles/Derek
https://archiveofourown.org/works/454948

Stoney's Teen Wolf Fic
https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stoney/pseuds/Stoney/works?fandom_id=258526
Especially: "Trust Fall," Stiles/Derek, body swap
http://archiveofourown.org/works/754957

Tropes

Addiction: Stiles has too much caffeine, I guess?

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics: This is the ONE fandom where this is okay. It's borderline canon (at least in terminology).

Amnesia: Always. How else does a high school junior wake up married to a twenty-six-year-old werewolf?

Animal Transformation: Werewolves, yes. All the dumb werecoyotes and werepanthers, no.

Apocafic: I don't remember this coming up? I suppose if it was well written.

BDSM: Hmm. I honestly can't remember if this came up between all the awkwardness and knotting. Maybe?

Bodyguard: LOL, definitely.

Bodyswap: I would laugh and laugh and it would be glorious.

Chan: Yeah, I'm pretty sure Stiles is 15 in a lot of these.

Crossover: I could probably deal with an SPN crossover, honestly. I don't remember reading any, though.

Dark Fic: This is one fandom where I like to laugh, so probably not.

De-Aging: 16 year old Derek is soooooo fine.

Domestic: Please read the holiday/wedding fic. Serious social construct, curtain hanging going on there.

Epistolary: You know they both keep journals. It's so them.

Holiday: Doesn’t matter what fandom. Yes.

Forced Marriage: Derek, you must marry your bondmate who happens to be this 16 year old geek boy who trips over his shoelaces! I would read it forever.

Historical AU: Yes.

Human AU: I love to AU in this fandom. Plus it gives me a break from all the knotting.

Hurt/Comfort: Derek has more hurts than Stiles has skirts.

Kidfic: Probably? I like a good Stiles mpreg.

Incest: Nope. This is one fandom where I get a breather from sibling shenanigans. Unless we're talking pack gropes, and that's totally okay.

In Vito Veritas: Eh, Derek can tell when you're lying. I don't know what use a drunk Stiles would be. Other than funny.

Isolated or Trapped: Canon!

Military: Maybe an AU?

Mpreg: All that knotting has to be good for something, so sure.

Prison: Werewolves in cages! Stiles saving the day!

Pornstar: Yes, yes, yes!!!

Pretend Couple/Relationship: Always a good time, regardless of pairing.

Rentboy/Prostitute: How else did Derek survive after the Hales were burned out?

Sex Compulsion: Alpha! Omega! Heat! Spore!

Slavery/Sex Slave: Sigh. I'd probably read it in this fandom. Poor Stiles.

Soulbond: MY Omega! True mates! Scent marking!

Spy/Secret Agent: Eh. I'd read it.

Time Travel: Werewolves of 18th century London!

Travel: Please! Anywhere but nondescript lacrosse county California.

Werewolves: Duh.

Wingfic: At least there's ONE thing this fandom didn't make me do. No.

I do miss the really good Tumblr fanart from Teen Wolf, though. Have I mentioned I almost universally loathe fan art? And I miss fangeeking over Sterek with CJ and talking about how we wanted more parents fic with likeadeuce.

Things I Hate About This Fandom
That the canon tanked so hard after Season 2.

Harry Potter
Grab a beverage and settle in. This could take a while. So sometime around 2011, I was talking to dancetomato about fic. She mentioned that she loved HP fic, and while I enjoyed the books and movies, I wasn't interested in the fic because the characters were "just kids" (I was 27 when "Philosopher's Stone" was published). And then lettered wrote Sex, Lies, and Veritaserum and I have spent the past six years trying to see if I can read every grammatically correct HP fic ever written. Will it happen? I'm only 47. Give it time. What I love most about the fandom is the breadth and scope of the canon! 7 books! 8 films! Tie-in books! The possibilities are limitless! I can have 13 year old Harry discovering his sexuality in "Prisoner"! I can have 20 year old Draco atoning for his sins! I can have 17 year old Snape time travel fic! Lily Luna/Scorpius wedding fic! Ginny/Harry/Draco threeway fic! Molly/Arthur married fic! And if I get tired of that...there's entire genres of Hogwarts era, Hogwarts professors post-canon, Auror fic, St. Mungos fic, living in the Muggle world fic, EWE fic, Epilogue compliant fic, Voldemort won fic, not to mention QUIDDITCH! I'm not terribly social in HP fandom. It's all consume, consume, consume. Once in a while I send a fic rec to turnonmyheels or dancetomato.

Pairings I read most: Harry/Draco, Harry/Snape, Hermione/Snape, Hermione/Draco, Scorpius/Albus, Ron/Pansy
Pairings I liked but didn't read: Didn't exist. If it didn't involve naked!Hagrid, I read it.
Pairings I loved but could never find enough of: Ginny/Draco, Neville/Draco, Harry/Pansy, Luna/Draco, Harry/Charlie, Harry/Bill
Pairings I didn't care for at all: Remus/Sirius (it's book canon to me, but I just don't care about the fic).
OT3: Harry/Snape/Draco, Harry/Ron/Hermione, Harry/Draco/Hermoine

Squicks:

Incest with any of Harry's kids. I can read Albus/Jamie through my fingers if I have to, and I can read someone polyjuicing into Draco with Scorpius, and I LOVE Albus and Scorpius as voyeurs to Harry/Draco, and Entre Nous wrote a VERY hot Lily Luna/Harry fic, but it's not my kink.

'Quiescent' as an overused modifier- Lots of growers and not showers in HP fandom, evidently.

Not remembering to use magic! They have wands! Are you a wizard writer, or aren't you?

Evil!Ron, homophobic!Ron (or God forbid, homophobic!Hermione -why???), Ron bashing in any form

Dumbledore as an evil teeth-gnashing villain. Manipulative, sure. Shades of grey, definitely. But he's far more interesting as someone who loved Harry and still sacrificed him than as pure evil.

Founder's era fic. I'm bored.

Americanisms. Especially with dealing with the Leaving Feast, or proms (the hell?), or grade structure, since the canon already spells it out!

Poor grammar for Draco or Hermione, especially "anyways," which, in addition to not being a word, is an Americanism!

Werewolves. With the exception of Lupin canon, I don't want Harry or Draco as werewolves (or vampires or fairies or fae or pixies or what the fuck ever. Wizard is already a magic being).

Severitus: Snape revealed as Harry's biological father. Nope. I'm too big of a Snarry fan for this to work for me.

Harry and a threesome with Fred and George. I don't know why this squicks me. It just does.

Voldemort won -- once in a blue moon if Harry is rescuing Draco or Ron or Hermione or Ginny. Okay, there's one where Voldemort captures Harry and tosses him into a room with Draco and Voldemort rapes both of them and Harry and Draco cling together and I love it even though I hate that trope, okay???

Dark!Harry. I've read one. Shades of grey Harry, sure. I mean, let's be honest -- between Harry's childhood, Dumbledore, Snape and Voldemort, he's going to be pretty fucked up. And that's okay.

Pureblood Snape. Not mention that even if Snape weren't a halfblood, he's already shown his disdain of Malfoy-esque wizarding rituals

Heir to every family, Supreme Mugwump, Ruler of the Wizengamot Harry Potter.

Easily redeemed Draco.

Ginny bashing. It's so easy to break them up, there's no reason to demonize her.

Slow burn, UST liek whoa, chapters and reams and epic words and then...pffft. Hand-waved cumulative frottage/dry humping scene. You're dead to me, writer.

Repetitive sex scenes: toppy!Draco, magic prep only, simultaneous orgasms = yawn.

Kinks:

Voyeurism -- don't even care why or who.

Leather Pants Draco. I'm totally okay with that. And super annoying unattributed (often OCC) Buffy quotes and Pamela Dean plagiarism aside, I loved Cassie Clare's "Draco Trilogy."

Adult aging -- Harry and Draco at 30, the characters post-epilogue in their 30s, 40s. Elderly characters.

Re-sorting fic -- a fave is still Maya's "If You've a Ready Mind" because Ravenclaw!Draco making fun of Harry trying to ask Cho to the ball is glorious

Parseltongue -- I don't care if it's cliché. It's hot.

Kidfic. I don't care if it's Epilogue Compliant, or raising Teddy, or de-aging, or OC kids or what. I love Harry, Draco, Ron and Hermione as parents. Or, OMG, Snape with a baby! Snape AS a baby!

Not really a kink, more of a kudo: this is the best fandom about grammar, syntax, dialogue attribution, tense, voice, and not using motherfucking epithets to the detriment of a paragraph.

Harry losing his virginity to Charlie Weasley, especially if Harry spent a few months post-war getting his shit together in Romania

Healer Draco or Mediwizard Draco

Auror Partners. Training! Sniping over how they like their tea! Shagging over desks!

Wizarding politics

Desert island and travel

Curse breaker!Draco - my fave is Sex on Legs in Six Inch Heels by Tessa Crowley, Harry/Draco

Hung!Harry. See also Re Draco: "Ever so lightly longer but not as thick" -- I know that's the biggest (so to speak) H/D cliche but it's also one I totally agree with.

What I loved most about this fandom:

"A Question of Etiquette" by swtalmnd, Harry/Snape, gay wizarding rituals
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1297678

"A Stranger Garden" by jamie2019, Harry/Draco, magical portraits
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4692501/1/A-Stranger-Garden

"A Reckless Frame of Mind" by Lomonaaeren, Harry/Draco, Healer Draco
http://archiveofourown.org/works/402637

"A Soft Spot for Lost Causes" by Helenish, Ron/Draco, hurt/comfort
http://archiveofourown.org/works/228337

"A Tale of Horns" by Pushdragon, Harry/Draco, Draco/Charlie, charity calendar
http://pushdragon.livejournal.com/61232.html

"The Affair" by Anya/Elizabeth, Ginny/Draco, infidelity
http://archiveofourown.org/works/19457

"All Our Secrets Laid Bare" by firethesound, Harry,Draco, Auror partners
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1227880

"An Inconvenient Wedding" by smutty_claus & Snegurochka, Hermione/Draco, infidelity
https://archiveofourown.org/works/301431

"Anachronism" by Starcrossed, Harry/Snape, amnesia
http://www.thebejeweledgreenbottle.com/2009%20Mixed%20Games/Fic%20Cauldron/cauldron-starcrossed.html

"And All We Need of Hell" by rthstewart, BAMF!Ginny
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1562930

"And Then There Were Three" by swtalmnd, Harry/Draco/Snape, courtship
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1252357

"Any Instrument" by dicta_contrion, Harry/Draco, Magical theory
http://archiveofourown.org/works/5403371

"The Apple Tree" by Philo, Harry/Severus, Luna/Draco/Neville, post-war
http://archiveofourown.org/works/4241040

"Birth of a Dancing Star" by asecretchord, Harry/Snape, mpreg
http://archiveofourown.org/works/677351

"The Boy Who Only Lived Twice" by lettered, Harry/Draco, spies
http://archiveofourown.org/works/330906

"Breaking All the Rules" by Frayach, Harry/Draco, swinger's club
http://archiveofourown.org/works/525718

"Cambiare Podentes" by Jordan Grant, Harry/Snape, Forced Marriage, power sharing
http://archiveofourown.org/works/714361

"Consequences of Truth" by altri_uccelli, Draco/Albus Severus, teacher/student
http://archiveofourown.org/works/639733

"Courtship Rituals" by Meri, Harry/Snape, Hogwarts era
http://archiveofourown.org/works/101383

"Cool Walls, Warm Thighs" by thusspakekate, Hermione/Pansy, frenemies
http://archiveofourown.org/works/414887

"Decoy Dilemma" by dysonrules, Harry/Draco, Scorpius/Al, Polyjuice
http://archiveofourown.org/works/175558

"Draco at Nineteen" by birds_of_shore, Harry/Draco, time travel
http://archiveofourown.org/works/4123870

"Draco Malfoy and the Scandal in Wiltshire" by thisaestus, Draco/Astoria, absent third
http://archiveofourown.org/works/523276

"The Fire and the Rose" by MetroRhos, Hermione/Snape, bodyswap
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/676157/5/The-Fire-and-the-Rose

"For Auld Lang Syne" by Cybele2013, Harry/Snape, EPIC
http://archiveofourown.org/series/34560

"For the Potion Master's Amusement" by submiss, Hermione/Snape, BDSM
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4814128/1/For-the-Potions-Master-s-Amusement

"Founder's Ball" by Rickey, Harry/Draco, Susan/Luna, Founder's ritual
http://archiveofourown.org/works/250025

"Friend Like Me" by LadyVader, Draco/Harry, Unreliable narrator
http://archiveofourown.org/works/495908

"From the Ashes" by fourth_rose, Harry/Pansy, Draco-as-absent-third
http://archive.skyehawke.com/story.php?no=10101

"Harry Potter and the Future He Doesn't Really Want, Thanks" by seefin, Harry/Draco, post-war
http://archiveofourown.org/works/7630993

"His Father's Son" by Rickey, Scorpius/Albus, time travel, mindfuck
http://archiveofourown.org/works/243127

"Jolene" by Romaine, Harry/Draco, genderswap
http://archiveofourown.org/works/236074

"Kiss a Boy in London Town" by femmequixotic, Harry/Draco, prostitiution
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1266

"Left My Heart" by emmagrant01, Harry/Draco, San Francisco AU
http://archiveofourown.org/works/250282

"Life After Death" by AnyaElizabeth, Harry/Snape, post-war
http://archiveofourown.org/works/19129

"Like Fathers, Like Sons" by 0idontknow0, Albus Severus/Scorpius, penseives
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1284238

"Love Like a Sunset" by snarkyscorp, Harry/Scorpius, activism
http://archiveofourown.org/works/409932

"The Many Lives of Love" by Nattish, Harry/Pansy/Draco, time travel
http://archiveofourown.org/works/980361

"Never Feel the Burning Light" by carpemermaid, Harry/Draco, fake!boyfriends
http://archiveofourown.org/works/7604692

"Nobody's Ever Died of a Broken Heart" by Frayach, Harry/Draco, grief
http://archiveofourown.org/works/927648

"Now the Shining Sun is Up" by lettered, Harry/Draco, politics
http://archiveofourown.org/works/93893

"Ode to Broken Things" by femmequixotic, Viktor/Millie, loneliness
http://archiveofourown.org/works/89700

"One April Night" by envy_venus, Harry/Draco, pining
http://envy-venis.livejournal.com/9056.html

"Only for the Lucky" by Sunsetic Monster, Harry/Draco, addiction
http://archiveofourown.org/works/715393

"Out of the Shadows Comes a Rose" by gingertart50, Lucius/Hermione/Severus, mpreg
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1571933

"Passing Notes" by Snegurochka, Remus/Severus, Marauder's Era
http://archiveofourown.org/works/106009

"Phantom of Hogwarts" by good_witch, Hermione/Snape, Phantom of the Opera
http://archiveofourown.org/works/188358

"Pocketful of Starlight (Never Let it Fade Away)" by femmequixotic, Harry/Draco, kidfic
http://archiveofourown.org/works/496883

"The Politician's Wife" by pir8fanicer, Hermione/Draco, politics
http://archiveofourown.org/works/250282

"Pretty Please with a Ginny on Top" by Rickey, Harry/Ginny, pegging
http://archiveofourown.org/works/700722

"Reflections" by mrsquizzical, Arthur/Molly, marriage
http://mrsquizzical.livejournal.com/129469.html

"Reliquary" by Pushdragon, Harry/Lucius, politics
http://pushdragon.livejournal.com/53296.html

"Sadness of Eros" by LoupGarou, Harry/Snape, infidelity
http://archiveofourown.org/works/677351

"The Second Time Around" by suitesamba, Harry/Snape, Harry owns an erotic B&B
http://archiveofourown.org/works/333173

"Seven Days in June" by fourth_rose, Harry/Draco, travel
http://archiveofourown.org/works/51209

"So Lonely Without Me" by Calligraphy, Harry/Snape, Trapped
http://archive.skyehawke.com/story.php?no=5658

"Something Less Than Something More" by femmequixotic, Harry/Millie, infidelity, Aurors
http://archiveofourown.org/works/219120

"Some Things Change" by literaryspell, Hermione/Lucius/Draco, threesome
http://archiveofourown.org/series/10612

"Sometimes the Best Things Come in Small Packages" by Frayach, Harry/Draco, size-kink
http://archiveofourown.org/works/815926

"Starts With a Spin" by Maxine, Harry/Draco, Hogwarts spin the bottle
http://archiveofourown.org/works/344335

"Stop All the Clocks (This Is the Last Time I'm Leaving Without You" by firethesound, Harry/Draco, grief
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1273078

"Survival of the Species" by Romaine, Harry/Draco, mpreg, Dragons
http://archiveofourown.org/works/180806

"Things They Should Have Taught Us in School" by Stoney, Hermione/Ron, DH Part 1
http://stoney321.livejournal.com/251343.html

"Turn" by saras_girl, Harry/Draco, Glimpse into an alternate universe
http://archiveofourown.org/works/879852

"The Waiting Place" by KariAnn1222, Ron/Hermione fuck or die
http://archiveofourown.org/works/479063

"Welcome to the Broom Closet" by incapricious, Harry/Draco, sex club
http://archiveofourown.org/works/42213

"What Dire Offense" by Miriam Heddy, Harry/Snape, Hogwarts Professors
http://archiveofourown.org/works/4631214

"What Doesn't Kill You" by Cybele2013 Harry/Snape, cursebreaker
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1245727

"When It Alteration Finds" by traintracks, Harry/Teddy, genderswap
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1114797

"Worship in the Bedroom" by gracerene, Ginny/Luna, strap-ons
http://archiveofourown.org/works/4243014

"Yours, Viola" by cryptaknight and smutty_claus, Ron/Pansy, Agony Aunt
http://archiveofourown.org/works/289134

And my favorite HP fic of all time, which is of course an abandoned H/D epic:
"The Shadow of His Wings" by Mirabella, Harry/Draco, unfinished epic
http://web.archive.org/web/20081021100315/http://theguestroom.houseofhobbits.com:80/hp/sohw.html

Tropes

Addiction: There are some really good addiction fics regarding Harry and Draco post-war, especially Draco after Azkaban. One of my faves is the Foundations Verse by saras_girl

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics: Hard no.

Amnesia: Well, how else is Snape going to wake up from a coma believing he was just bitten by Nagini when it's actually 10 years later and he's been married to Harry for 7 of them!

Animal Transformation: Animagus canon makes this the one fandom where I'm totally cool with this. Plus there's a Harry/Snape fic where Harry gets turned into a frog who croaks "Quidditch" and it's kind of adorable

Apocafic: Only in the Voldemort won fic, and then only rarely. I can do doom, but I need hope, not gloom.

BDSM: The second installment of the Mudhoney series has a sex swing fisting scene that totally makes me get that trope.There's also a lot of Snape/Hermione d/s, and it makes me incredibly happy.

Bodyguard: 8th year Harry/Draco fave

Bodyswap: That and so, so many Polyjuice fics

Chan: I was horrified upon hearing about Snape/underage Harry when strikethrough first happened. Then I actually read it and climbed right into that hand basket

Crossover: Apparently only with Queer as Folk. One of my big squicks is the practice of adults (Dean Winchester, Sherlock Holmes) showing up at Hogwarts to be sorted. Just no.

Dark Fic: Eh, the actual canon is pretty freaking dark (dead kids ahoy) and this is one fandom where I can get pretty dark. Like there's this Draco/Albus Severus fic? After they marry, they discover Lucius put a curse on all half-blood progeny. In order to save his husband and unborn child, Draco performs a dark spell that kills him but allows him to lie in stasis. Al must eat Draco piece by piece to survive. It freaked me the fuck out and I read every word.

De-Aging: "A Nick in Time" (see above) is a fave, I also like tiny de-aged Draco being assigned Harry as his guardian.

Domestic: So many literal Grimmauld Place curtain fics.

Epistolary: This is HUGE in HP. Harry and Draco writing to each other anonymously, tons of sketchy journals and diaries, spellbooks, etc. I mean, they use quills, people. C'mon.

Holiday: Doesn’t matter what fandom. Yes.

Forced Marriage: In order to save the wizarding world, Harry and Snape must marry and combine powers! In order to save the Muggleborns, Hermione and Snape must sign a Marriage Contract! In order to shag without guilt, Harry and Draco must seal their accidental mystical bond in a naked wizarding ceremony!!!

Genderswap: Girl!Draco and Girl!Harry are so hot.

Historical AU: Founders, Marauders, teenage Snape, Dumbledore vs. Grendelwald, October 31, 1981 fix-fic...

Human AU: Not interested -- I like my wizards with wands.

Hurt/Comfort: So much pain in this canon. Healing cocks all around!

Kidfic: Yes.

Incest: Nope. Unless it's like Albus polyjuicing into Draco and then fucking Scorpius. Because that's all kind of hot.

In Vito Veritas: Veritaserum is canon, yo.

Isolated or Trapped: Room! Of! Requirement!

Military: Aurors

Mpreg: Yes, a thousand times yes. A wizard literally did it. People who don't mpreg regardless, I get. People who buy into a fandom where half-giants can happen but can't contemplate the concept of magical wombs and c-sections baffle me.

Prison: Azkaban fic breaks me heart. I still love it.

Pornstar: Yes, yes, yes!!!

Pretend Couple/Relationship: How else will Draco get the Wizengamot to release his inheritance without becoming engaged to the Hero of the Wizarding World? How else will Hermione gain the Pureblood votes without dating The Slytherin Prince?

Rentboy/Prostitute: How do expect a posh blond boy with no ID to survive in the Muggle world have the Wizengamot snaps his wand?

Sex Compulsion: A wizard literally did it. There's a Hermione/Ron fuck or die fic that's so hot just remembering it makes me...never mind.

Slavery/Sex Slave: I've read it (Voldemort won/Azkaban Probation/Magical Bonding) and although there are more believable scenarios for it in this fandom, it's still not a fave.

Soulbond: Accidental blood bonds! Potions accident! Wizarding tradition betrothals! Soulmates! UNBREAKABLE VOWS!!!

Spy/Secret Agent: Aurors, MI:6. Cool.

Time Travel: Teenage Snape! Fix-It fic! TIME TURNER CLICHES! My fave is adult Draco coming in back in time to war teen Harry. I'm so easy.

Travel: There's a lot of fic with Draco leaving the UK after the war. My faves are in Vienna and Hungary, although there's a good Iceland fic, too. New York, also a fave.

Werewolves: Sigh. It's canon, so I deal, but no bitten Draco or Harry, thanks.

Wingfic: Veela!Draco!! Actually, my favorite veela fic is actually a Veela!Harry, Maya's Drop Dead Gorgeous.

Things I Hate About This Fandom

Absolutely nothing.


Sherlock
I watched "Sherlock" in real time beginning in 2010 (which differs from the way I watched every other show -- I watched the whole first seasons of "Supernatural" and "Teen Wolf" at once, came into Buffy right after the series finale, started watching "Queer as Folk" around Season 2 or 3 and read the Harry Potter books after the first two movies were released). I loved the show from the opening credits, but I was too busy reading HP fanfic to deal with another fandom. still_lost sent me a Sherlock/John pretend relationship fic and it was well written and entertaining, but I wasn't interested in Benedict or Martin and I just didn't care. Then, of course, Season 4 of Sherlock aired and appeared to wrap things the heck up and I started watching Martin Freeman vids on youtube and then suddenly cared a whole heck of a lot. I went back and read a kid fic still_lost had rec'd and discovered a new love. I've been reading Sherlock fic for almost a month now, and while I find the dearth of canon to cause repetitious line quoting (I'm really okay if I never read "Afghanistan or Iraq?" ever again), the AUs are quite glorious.

Pairings I read most: Sherlock/John
Pairings I liked but didn't read: (At least not yet) Mycroft/Lestrade (other than as a side-pairing)
Pairings I loved but could never find enough of: Harry/Clara, Irene/OC Female Character
Pairings I didn't care for at all: There just aren't enough people on this show for that to squick.
OT3: Sherlock/John/Guest Star

Squicks:

Americanisms. It't not NEARLY as bad as it is in HP, but when it's an obvious Brit the rhythms of John and Sherlock's dialogue are spot-on. See what I did there?

Hand-waved smut. Don't rate your fic M or E if there's nothing more than a snog and a grope.

Re-writing the entire Pilot scene from Angelo's or Sherlock's first deduction of John. I watched the same show you did. You don't have to show your work.

Forgetting that Sherlock is an addict. He's not always the posh public school boy you want him to be.

If you're writing with canon ages, Sherlock was born around 1980 (making him the same age -- or almost -- as Buffy Summers and Dean Winchester and Harry Potter!) and couldn't possibly have learned about crime from youtube tutorials as a kid.

Sherlock's a genius. You don't need to make him a wizard. Stop it.

Cerulean eyes. I thought I was over that in Buffy fandom. For the record, Spike's eyes are merely bright blue, the cheekbones, lighting and platinum contributed a bit. Sherlock's eyes are blue-grey-green swirl, which is unusual, but not cerulean. If one must find a character to use this tired Latin modifier, Chris Pine's Capt Kirk actually has cerulean orbs.

Evil!Mary. Yes, I know John married Mary in Season 3. Harry also married Ginny, and I lived. Stopped making Mary a wart-covered, cackling crone. And to the writer who wrote how much tighter Sherlock's asshole was than Mary's vagina after she gave birth to Rosie, fuck you.

Song!fic: Reading lyrics is boring. Plus writers either do the hipster "you wouldn't know them" thing with their band choice OR they pick a middling band like My Chemical Romance and try to convince you that Mycroft was a big fan (sorry, my issues).

Killing off, abandoning, or otherwise horrifying obliteration of John's child. John is not childfree, as we all know from watching "His Last Vow." Forty-something men are rarely ambivalent about children they were looking forward to. Having the child turn out to be fathered by someone other than John is fine.

Kinks:

AUs. There's so little canon and so few people can write mysteries with Moffat/Gatiss levels of success that I am totally fine with John as a RAMC Captain and Sherlock as a consulting military liaison.

Infidelity. I'm sorry, Mary, but morally conflicted John just hits me right in the down low.

Retiring to Surrey and raising bees.

Kid-fic. I love Sherlock and John raising kids, whether it's Rosie or an OC.

Well written minor minor characters like Donovan and Janine

Teacher/Student

Sport/Athletes

Pansexual Sherlock

Hung!John

Kinky as fuck Sherlock

School/College AU

Military kink

Virgin!Sherlock

What I loved most about this fandom:

Historical AUs:
"The Frost is All Over" by Chryse, Sherlock/John
https://archiveofourown.org/works/1614890

"The Measure of a Gentleman" by i_ship_an_armada, Sherlock/John
https://archiveofourown.org/works/766513

"Dawn Before the Rest of the World" by PoppyAlexander, Sherlock/John
https://archiveofourown.org/series/103292

Kidfic
"Wars We've Fought, Things We're Not" by blueink3, Sherlock/John
https://archiveofourown.org/works/3281534

"Points" by lifeonmars, Sherlock/John
https://archiveofourown.org/works/6695380

"Nature and Nurture" by earlygreytea68, Sherlock/John
https://archiveofourown.org/works/729134

Actors/Athletes
"The Doubtful Comforts of Human Love" by PoppyAlexander, Ballet!Sherlock/Rugby!John
https://archiveofourown.org/works/2184438

"A Study in Winning" by Jupiter_Ash, Sherlock/John, Tennis rivals
https://archiveofourown.org/works/366788

"Performance in a Leading Role" by Mad_Lori, Hollywood actors Sherlock/John
https://archiveofourown.org/works/225563

"To the Sticking Place" by blueink3, Broadway/West End Sherlock/John
https://archiveofourown.org/works/3522677

This fic:
"Two Two One Bravo Baker" by abundantlyqueer, Sherlock/John, Afghanistan war crimes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/180121

Tropes

Addiction: Sherlock's addiction is canon. I can take it as background or history, or even a relapse, but too much triggers child-of-an-alcoholic issues.

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics: Surprisingly okay with this fandom?

Amnesia: The man who can't fall in love forgets that he did. *cries*

Animal Transformation: I read a changeling fic where Sherlock was a leopard and John was a Timber wolf and mostly liked it, okay?!

Apocafic: Not as such.

BDSM: Riding crops are canon, so yes.

Bodyguard: Canon -- have you seen John shoot a Sig?

Bodyswap: I've never read this, but I would DIE.

Chan: Hasn't come up.

Crossover: Er...if I find one with Queer as Folk, apparently?

Dark Fic: Probably. It would kill me, but some of the original book canon is pretty dark. Plus canon fake suicide. So.

De-Aging: Have I read this? I've read a lot of flashbacks to kid!Sherlock.

Domestic: Canon and yes, please.

Epistolary: Does texting count? But yes, John's a blogger.

Holiday: Doesn’t matter what fandom. Yes.

Forced Marriage: In an AU? I can't imagine this coming up in canon...oh, wait. Yes, I can. Mycroft.

Genderswap: Haven't read it yet, would totally read Girl!Sherlock/Irene.

Historical AU: Yes.

Human AU: Canon

Hurt/Comfort: Canon, also my heart and yes.

Kidfic: This may be my Sherlock go-to.

Incest: I love Mycroft, but no.

In Vito Veritas: Canon and yes.

Isolated or Trapped: Canon and yes. Wow, this is a tropey fandom.

Military: Oh, hell, yeah. See fave fandom fic.

Mpreg: Not necessary -- they seem to pluck progeny out of the woodwork.

Prison: Yes. Sherlock in the joint is hilarious.

Pornstar: Yes, yes, yes!!!

Pretend Couple/Relationship: This is quasi-canon, and yes.

Sex Compulsion: Oh, Sherlock. This would hurt so good.

Slavery/Sex Slave: No.

Soulbond: Soulmates okay.

Spy/Secret Agent: Sure.

Time Travel: Canon (sort of) and yes, yes, yes.

Travel: Canon for Sherlock and yes, all over Europe, through in New York, Middle East, Africa, oh, yes.

Werewolves: No. Thank God.

Wingfic: I can't imagine how this would happen. Maybe as actors in "Icarus"?

Things I Hate About This Fandom

The same thing everyone else hates: just 4 seasons, three 90-minute episodes each, 2-3 years apart, and probably done as of 2016.

What is it about me that loves, obsesses and adores? One part depression and the need for diversion, one part voracious reader, and one part optimist who wants to believe in a better world peopled with vampire slayers and white witches and wizards and half-giants and free elves and werewolves and created families and intrepid teenagers and detectives and former Army doctors and, apparently, emotionally disconnected ad execs and the teenagers they love. I also live in a part of the world that's big on stoicism and college football but not so much on imagination and critical thinking. Thank you to all of the writers and readers and dreamers from San Francisco to Dallas to Chicago to Atlanta to Pittsburgh to New York to D.C. to Toronto, to Vancouver, to Edmonton, to London, Devon, Brighton, to Sydney, to Perth, to Auckland, to Majorca to Manila, who have shared their words with me.

Comments

[turnonmyheels]

I'm coming back later with more I just had to quickly say, this SO MUCH THIS

When Tyler Hoechlin and Crystal Reed left the show, so did I.

[crazydiamondsue]

Yes please to talking to me. Mwah!

[turnonmyheels]

I just bookmarked a ton of HP fic to read but I can't because the eye-patch is fucking with me.

I shall return. When I can see

[crazydiamondsue]

Feel free to discuss HP fic with me. Hope the eye is better soon! *gives you sugar*

[ladycat]

Ooo, this is delightful and when I have brain I look forward to reading it and all your recs.

Also, I just realized I did not have you in my circle, which is a crime of awfulness. I have no idea how it happened, either!

This is the only time I have ever been glad for a facebook notification. Now I feel weird. Like I've been wearing shoes wrong for years and finally righted them.

[crazydiamondsue]

Yes, please! I want to be your circle!! Please also enjoy the fact that I rec'd the writer of some of fave porn with a gen fic. ;)

[lynnenne]

HI SUE HI. Your Buffyverse lists are making me all nostalgic! So much talk and squee and fights and drama and love in that fandom. I went looking for Sisabet's "Closer" vid online this weekend and couldn't find it, and it broke my heart.

I miss those days.

[crazydiamondsue]

Hi Lynne! I miss those days, too.

I have "Closer" saved on an external hard drive -- I will email it to you!

[lynnenne]

GODDESS BLESS YOU.

[lunabee34]

Hello, dear heart!

I just saw that you called me. I have got to get a new battery for my phone as it is currently masquerading as a piece of shit. LOL

Can I call you back tomorrow?

Also, our tastes are pretty well aligned. I think I've read and enjoyed almost all these fics in the fandoms I read in.

[lunabee34]

Also, tell me you've read Helenish's Neville/Draco Theft of Assets, Destruction of Property? It might just be my favorite HP fic.

[crazydiamondsue]

I haven't! And now I will!!! Yes, please, call me tomorrow.

[lunabee34]

I tried calling you last night, my dear, and then I had to go to bed because I am old and must go to sleep early now. LOL

[levoi]

Motherfucking epithets. "The chocolate-eyed boy." "The blond British vampire"

I get hives from this shit. Hives. I also rankle at the let's use ALL the synonyms! strategy. (Especially for the word, "said.") I realize this is probably because a lot of fic writers are young and still working off high school English boilerplates, but there is a right word out there. Find it, stick to it. Variety is one thing, but you do not understand what some of your thesaurus recommendations actually mean, and your characters do not need to go around vocalizing or expressing simple thoughts. The word is, "said." Also, many, many stories have characters constantly whispering and murmuring things to one another; does everyone have laryngitis? How can anyone hear anything? Get it together.

Also, Dawn and Kennedy are amazing, Cordelia is queen, and they all deserve better than 95% of fic writers give them.

I think I'm done now. I will go sit down.

[crazydiamondsue]

Oh dear heaven yes -- said is fine. It's perfect. It's unobtrusive. "Please just use said!" she ejaculated. :p

Poor women of Buffy. Such rich characters and so deserving of better stories (and in Cordy's case not being called Delia.)

[poshcat]

This was so fun to read! I especially enjoyed your "How else" Amnesia comments, because the heart wants what it wants hahaha.

It seems like the golden age of fandom has passed (at least for us), but we'll always have Paris. And by Paris I mean Sunnydale. :0P

[crazydiamondsue]

Hi, Posh! I don't know if I ever told you, but "Brothers in Arms" is one of the first S/X fics I ever read!

I wonder what it says about me that my fave trope is "if people could just forget what they hate about each other, they'd fall in love!" LOL

I miss the old days of sharing fandom feels, it we will indeed always have Sunnydale. And Stoney's comment threads.

[rebcake]

Oh yes! So nice to read this, and to have new (to me) links!

I’d really like to see Buffy as a guy with Spike.

I can help you out with that! Here are two of my favorites:

Impossibly Delightful Flesh by Sadbhyl
The Sweet Spot by Rabid1st

There is an unfinished sequel to the 2nd one, too, but Buffy isn't a guy for much of that part.

[crazydiamondsue]

Oh, you are the BEST! I've already started the first one. Yay! I hope you find something fun to read, too!

[beer_good_foamy]

So much Buffyverse nostalgia.

(And yes to the epithets. I'd forgotten how common they used to be, then I read some reposted old fic on AO3 and... Jesus, can we go five sentences of domestic fic without a single computer in sight without referring to Willow as "the red-haired hacker"?)

[crazydiamondsue]

Hahaha! I've read HP for so long and it's not so prevalent there, but I just started reading Sherlock and welcome back "the high-functioning sociopath" and "the former Army doctor." Oh, Willow. My favorite red-haired 'Wicca.'

[molly_may]

This was a delight to read from beginning to end, even the parts that were about fandoms I've never read fic in!

Why does A/B/O leave me cold? (Actually we can answer that right here: drooling sphincter).

Truly, this is THE definitive argument against A/B/O, a trope that always leaves me shaking my head and backing quickly out of a fic.

Riley as a scenery chewing, always-been-evil, making-more-orifices-in-Spike-to-rape villain. Jesus. Just no.

Lordy. As an avowed, on-the-record Riley-hater, even I think this sounds completely appalling and out of character.

He also talks the way regular, non-rapist high school boys talked/acted in the late 90s – he probably got completely woke in his 30s, alright?

Yes. I have nothing really to add to that, just my total agreement.

Also, we love enchiladas and chicken fried steak with cream gravy but we don't eat them at the same time.

Hahahahahahaha

I read a bunch of Teen Wolf fic during the height of its popularity (even though I barely watched the show; the fic was just EVERYWHERE) (Every Step You Take was one of my faves), but I can't remember ever reading any AUs, and now I have a terrible (wonderful) feeling that that's what I'm going to spend my weekend doing.

[crazydiamondsue]

I feel terrible (wonderful) for taking up your time with fic mwahahhaha!

[stoney321]

SUE I LOVE A/B/O FIC SO FREAKING MUCH. Knotting fic!! GIVE IT TO ME. But, you know, only in particular fandoms. Who knew this would prove to be my bullet-proof kink??

Also, thanks for the love here and it's FASCINATING to me to see what TW fics you like. There are actually some I haven't read in your list!

[crazydiamondsue]

Leslie loves it, too! Especially in J2. The only thing I appreciate about it is the desperation of heat. But I have voluntarily read it in like 3 Sherlock fics and that's on me, LOL.

I'm about to re-read the wedding/holiday fic. There's quite a few TW fics in my AO3 bookmarks, too! Trust Fall is one of my faves: bodyswap!!!