crazydiamondsue | (no subject)

This is a tag fic

reremouse are writing in the comments to my "OMG MY COMPUTER WAS STOLEN" post. I'm posting it here so that I can leave well-deserved (and much delayed) feedback, and so that others can share in the S/X wonderfulness.

First Part here
Part the Second here

Continues:

Reremous
Spike is gone.

Xander repeats it to himself silently. Spike is gone.

Then Xander repeats it out loud. "Spike is gone," he tells the stove.

The stove doesn't say anything back and Xander doesn't want to become the crazy cat guy who talks to inanimate objects so he grabs his phone and dials.

"The Magic Box. What can we sell you?"

It's a woman's voice, nice, and totally not what Xander wants to hear. "Spike is gone," he tells it.

"No he isn't," she disagrees.

"Yes he is." It's not much better than talking to the stove and Xander decides to cut the long and vicious cycle short. "This is Xander Harris. Buffy sent Spike to Oxnard and he's gone."

"Of course he's gone. I assume you averted your apocalypse. I mean - Spike's back and the world is still here."

Spike's back.

Spike's back, Xander thinks and then nips that cycle in the bud too.

So he skips the stove and gets to the point. "Spike's back in Sunnydale?"

Which means he made it safely. Ali - okay in one piece and Xander looks at the kitchen clock to see what time it is but the clock is gone too.

Spike made it safely - and he took a souvenir.

"Hello? Xander Harris?"

"Yes, that's me," Xander's mouth says while his mind is still wrapped around Spike wanting his clock. Spike wanting his James Dean clock.

There's a huff on the other end of the line and then a blessed, blissed - and Xander doesn't know if blissed would pass as a word in Scrabble but -

"Sorry, Buff, can you say that again?"

"Xand - are you feeling okay?"

"I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm - " He's struck by an idea. "Is Spike there? Can you put him on?"

"Why would Spike be here?"

Okay - Spike isn't here - there-here - and Xander forces his brain into a think - it grinds gears - coffee. He needs his morning coffee.

Except there is no coffee maker where there had been a coffee maker before.

Spike took another souvenir.

And Xander starts to feel that kinda lifty feeling - because it means he'll have to go to Sunnydale to get them back.

Savoytruffe
“He took my coffee maker,” Xander says. “And my clock.”

Buffy snorts. “Just be glad he didn’t take your toaster oven.”

Which might be a good point except…

“I don’t have a toaster oven.”

“Or your stereo,” says a voice in the background that sounds like Dawn.

“Or your bookshelves,” chimes the voice that answered the phone.

“He seems to be nesting,” Buffy explains.

“Nesting? Vampires nest? With toaster ovens?”

“Hey, it’s a step up from lurking in the basement and muttering to invisible people while trying to cut his soul out,” Buffy says.

And Xander has to concede the point.

He does not, however, have to concede his coffee maker.

“I’m coming over there,” he says.

“For a clock and a coffee maker?”

“It’s only an hour.”

“You don’t have a car.”

“I don’t have a coffee maker.”

“You could buy a new coffee maker for less than it costs to get here.”

“It would be nice to see you again, too, Buff,” Xander says, because faced with logic, he often finds it best to counter with emotional manipulation.

Buffy sighs. “Not the best time for a social call, Xan. We’re kinda in crisis mode here.”

“Believe it or not, I might actually be able to help.” And this time the sarcasm isn’t manipulative, it’s honest. “It’s not like in high school, you know. I’m not like in high school.”

“I know, Xan. Of course I know.”

Buffy sounds genuinely sorry now and, for a second, Xander feels guilty because he knows deep inside that his motives aren’t exactly pure. But a second later, he’s convinced himself that his motives are perfectly pure and fills his voice with righteous indignation to announce…

“Alright then, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Reremous
Because one day is more than enough time to borrow a car from one of his buddies, his pals, his brothers in arms - right?

Xander steps off the bus at the Sunnydale Greyhound station, shoulders his duffel bag, double checks his stake and starts to walk.

He can use the exercise. A physique like his doesn't keep itself after all and walking is great exercise.

And good for the heart.

Light cardio - for free!

Xander leads a heart-healthy lifestyle.

Xander also has totally fair-weather friends.

But - hey - last time he was here, he was picking up an Inca mummy who'd later try to suck the life out of him. No Inca mummy this time so Xander figures he's ahead of the game.

For Sunnydale.

He hangs a left onto Main and walks past the hardware store - where his zombie buddies got their cake ingredients - and past the dress shop where he and Cordy were attacked by hell hounds.

Yeah, Xander's way ahead so far and he does not miss this place.

Get in.

Get his coffee maker.

Get out.

It's a Mr. Coffee search and rescue operation.

And if he's thinking more about engaging the enemy and under the covers covert ops, that's his business.

Xander sees The Magic Box up ahead and takes a sharp right into the Espresso Pump.

Because he has no coffee maker.

And he can not be expected to face the rescue operation without his morning coffee.

Xander bellies up to the counter and fumbles his way through ordering a hot chocolate.

Savoytruffle
A minute later, Xander nearly fumbles the hot chocolate itself. He steps through the Magic Box door and is slammed with an armful of Dawn.

“Xander!”

“Hey, Dawnie,” he manages with the last bits of air in his lungs.

She steps back and gives him a once-over that’s just a little less innocent than it used to be in the early crush days. He blushes and manages to set the hot chocolate down on the nearest available surface just in time to catch an armful of Willow.

“You suck. Do I need to cast a spell that attracts you to Sunnydale? ’Cause I can do that, you know.”

They squeeze each other tight and when she steps back, he smiles and gives her a kiss on the lips. “Missed you too, Will.”

“Hey, how come I didn’t get a kiss?”

Xander smirks over at the pouting Dawn. “Because you’re too young and not gay enough.”

“That’s discrimination.”

“I like to think of it as self-preservation. You do remember that your sister can kick my ass?”

“Damn right I can, so stay away from her and come here.”

Buffy emerges from the training room and Xander crosses the shop to meet her halfway and enfold her in his arms. “Missed you, Buff.”

“Missed you, too.”

Buffy steps back and Xander leans down to kiss her on the lips, too.

Across the room, Dawn stomps her foot. “Buffy’s not gay.”

“Buffy’s also not jailbait.”

“What’s…?”

“Dawn,” Buffy says, “don’t you have homework?”

‘But I’m not at home.”

“But you could be.”

Dawn crosses her arms, but plops into a chair in front of some books. “Fine.”

Xander laughs. “Ah, the joys of raising a teenager.”

“Tell me about it,” Buffy mutters. “We were this bad?”

“Are you kidding?” Xander lowers his voice. “We were so much worse.”

“I heard that!”

Reremouse
Then there's patrol and an invitation to join Buffy on patrol because she swears they'll meet Spike and Xander doesn't doubt it.

There's something about the way Spike looks when there's people to protect and stupid things to do like barging in during reconnaissance and trying to put the stake in stake-out.

Spike's a wacky guy.

And Xander's stomach is fluttering at the thought of Spike wackying himself into a pile of dust.

So he's relieved when they round a crypt and there's the vamp of the hour, leaning against the marble and smoking a cigarette as if he sprouted there - like some kind of weird, pale fungus.

Spike flicks the butt of his cigarette into the damp grass where it smolders out.

Then he flicks a glance at Xander that just smolders.

The glance leaves him feeling warm when it moves away and Spike pushes off from the wall with his shoulders and starts walking with them. Spike's looking at Buffy now and Xander realizes he's still looking at Spike.

Noticing things.

Xander notices he walks differently in his boots than he does barefoot.

And Xander's so not ready to be the weird guy who fixates on feet.

"Out for a walk?" Buffy asks and it's not as sharp as it used to be. Like she's trying too and that's not something Xander expected.

"Not illegal, is it?" Spike lights another cigarette and even though he's not looking straight at Xander, Xander knows he's being watched.

"And that's stopped you - when?"

Spike snorts and doesn't answer but when he gives Xander a straight look, the smirk's shy.

Xander reminds himself he's here to liberate his toaster - and feels the tingles from Spike's smirk all the way down in his toes.

~TBC~

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's not much better than talking to the stove and Xander decides to cut the long and vicious cycle short. Hee!

“It would be nice to see you again, too, Buff,” Xander says, because faced with logic, he often finds it best to counter with emotional manipulation. Man, that's so many Xander in more ways than I can enumerate. (I could - but we've got a lot to read here, right?)

It's a Mr. Coffee search and rescue operation. So. Happy. No. Words.

Hot Chocolate! (The fact that "You Sexy Thing" is now stuck in my head - your fault.)

Xander smirks over at the pouting Dawn. “Because you’re too young and not gay enough.” Bwahahaha! Great Dawn, great banter, great reunion. Need more adjectives. Noted.

Xander reminds himself he's here to liberate his toaster - and feels the tingles from Spike's smirk all the way down in his toes. Yesss. Loved the bit about Spike appearing as a pale fungus and Xander worrying about a fixation on feet. Loved it! Want more!!!!

You've sussed out our plot! Xander is the head of the toas - coffee maker liberation movement! He rescues them from enslavement to bootless vampire fungi and then burns their bras.

Bwah!

thanks, babe! your squee makes it all worth while.

Squee!

Ooohhhh - I've been waiting for this. How could anyone blame Xander for going in search of his "coffee maker"? *snicker* Can't wait for the next bit...

Anna

Xander's coffee maker is the innocent victim here! Xander's doing the hero guy thing and saving it from the monsters.

That's Xander...always the white knight...*snickers again*

I'm following this now and enjoying it quite a lot! I've friended Sue to keep track of it--hope that's all right (?).

well, it's certainly all right with me...

glad you are here and enjoying. thanks for the fb.

Fine by Sue!

Spike nesting? I love. Muchly.
And toe-tingling smirks are my favourite. :D

thanks babe! toe tingling - there's lots of toe-tingling going on here.

Love the 'nesting' vampire. TOO FUNNY!!

More favorites:
"Spike flicks the butt of his cigarette into the damp grass where it smolders out.

Then he flicks a glance at Xander that just smolders"

OH YEAH!! Spike just smolders!!

"Xander reminds himself he's here to liberate his toaster - and feels the tingles from Spike's smirk all the way down in his toes."

Um, a toaster?? I thought he was on a ... 'Mr. Coffee search and rescue operation.' And after a missing clock... WELL, ACTUALLY HE'S THERE FOR HIS MISSING VAMPIRE.

Bouncing happily that you've updated this... I was sad when Spike was just gone....

thanks! glad you're enjoying it.

and isn't it telling that xander can't even quite seem to remember what he's come after?

don't worry, we'd never just send spike away like that. where would be the fun in that story?

This is one of my favourite WIPS! *loves*

whee! thanks babe!

Fantastic stuff. More is good. Wonderful mad-Spike voice, wonderful AU Xander.
Also, "Out for a walk?" in that softened tone is lovely Buffy. Like she's remembering.

thanks! glad you're enjoying it. we're doing the best we can to produce more and fb like yours is very motivating.