Death Annoys Her

[crazydiamondsue]

I haven't been writing. Or reading. Or commenting (mostly). Why? Because my father is driving me abso-frickin-lutely crazy.

So my late mother's brother (whom none of us knew very well) passed away last week. Sad, but he was almost 80 and had great-grandchildren. The man had lived. In any case, my dad (who's 60-ish with a bum ticker) has suddenly started to feel his own mortality (the fact that he's an alcoholic who chain smoked for - no kidding - 50 years, who's already had two quadruple-bypass surgeries is neither here nor there. Did I mention his favorite meal is fried eggs and pork rinds?)

So now I'm expected to drop everything and do all the stuff I asked him to do back in 1996 when Mom died unexpectedly. You know, Power of Attorney, will actually being filed, transfer of property. Now, lest you think that I am coercing a feeble man into giving me control of his "earthly assets" - he ain't got none (allow me to go Okie for a moment.) He has a pick-up and a fairly nice house (or it was in 1980, anyway) near beautiful Lake Eufaula. But the house is my brother's. Period. He stayed down country and took care of both of our parents while I escaped to "The City" and had a life, so the house is his. I don't want anything.

But I would have liked to have taken care of this at some point in the last 10 years, not *right now*. The fact that my brother and I have lives and jobs is inconsequential to my dad. Who's also sighing deeply into my ear and telling me to cherish my health. I don't mean to sound callous. I love my dad, drunken, misogynistic, prejudiced bastard that he is. I would just have a lot more sympathy if he hadn't spent my childhood drinking, smoking and pork rinding himself into this condition and then expecting *me* to feel guilty about it, because he didn't have my "advantages." Pre-natal care can't fix everything, Pop.

Wow. That was a lot of whining. Anyway, he's sucking up my writing/reading/LJ'ing time.

Anyhoo. I miss Stoney. She emailed that she is mocha and everything worth eating is fried, which is both a blessing and a curse.

My vacation: It looks like Caza and I will be traveling the first week of August. We will actually be flying into Boston (area) and then driving down to DC, stopping in Connecticut (leeannaray!) and New York (entrenous88!) and Maryland (tgray!) on our way. Then we'll fly out of DC on the 8th to go back home. I'd love to see ponders_life, bunnyohare and the rest of the Massachusetts contingent while we're in the Boston area on August 2 and 3. Does that work for you guys?

Entre, does that work for you? We'd probably stay the night in NY, so I'd need some suggestions from you there. (Also, the idea of driving in NY frightens me beyond the telling of it.)

More on this as plans become more formalized, but how does that time frame sound to those who would like to feed see me?

camisha - when will you be here? How long will I have you? You're more than welcome to stay with us, and I'd love to take you to dinner and for drinks at Cock of the Walk (okay, the name is cooler than the bar, still - great name) while you're here. Let me know!

Once the dad stuff dies down, I'll go back to the LJ haunting, smut writing (at least occasionally) hair-bragging-about Sue you've allowed to grow on you.


And really, really late: Happy Birthday, alice23kate - you have Xangely goodness coming your way very soon!!!!

Comments

I'm using my new icon cause it's pretty...and strangely fitting *g*

[paynbow.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can see how that'd be seriously frustrating. My one grandfather died at 60...ish (it was before I was born), but he smoked and drank himself to death, and by the time he finally quit both it was too late. He had the cancer and the emphazima and probably the sorosis of the liver. You feel bad because it's someone you love, but at the same time, they pretty much got themselves into the position they're in.

*hugs you*

[winterlive.livejournal.com]

O.O

Dude. That is some definite weird-father behavior. I pet you, because with family, that's usually about all you can do. *petpetpetpet*

We miss you! Come home! *offers bosom opens arms of loving family*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_sharvie_/]

Glad everything is okay, as much as it can be. You disappeared pretty quick the other night and had me wondering....did you get my email...yes, I'm a totally motherly worry wart. *rolls eyes at self*

And parents...always drive ya crazy. I got along better with mine when I put a few states between us.

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

It is so weird, isn't it, how sometimes relatives react to death as a kind of but wait, what about meeeeee? situation. I can understand why taking care of those issues would be good, but, as you've said, it seems as though you've already tried to get them underway, and your dad hasn't been at all cooperative about it before this.

And yay, you'll be in NYC!!!!! Your whole tour of the east coast sounds great. We should IM or email to figure out details and exchange info. It would be incredibly exciting to meet you. **starts hopping around in anticipation** :D

[bunnyohare.livejournal.com]

I feel your daddy pain. My parents are kinda old too. Mom is 78 (she'll be 79 in August) and my dad is 76. He's been smoking for about 60 years and thinks he'll live forever. Mom's had cancer twice, has all manner of health problems and fries *everything*. They don't have a will, nor do they have Power of Attorney, and since they think they are going to be around forever so the house will stay in their name 'til they both die. :)

I'll be around the first week in August, and look forward to meeting you and filling your tummy (read: getting you a bit drunk). And meeting Caza too. :)

[trepkos.livejournal.com]

One of my flist, brallaqueen, invented a phrase which fits this situation - FDS or "Familial Distress Syndrome".
Sorry its eating your time.
Did your bikkies arrive?

vacationing

[likeadeuce.livejournal.com]

egad! I had no idea this was really happening

*bounces*

any way you'll be in DC-area on my birthday? (August 5). Because the Sue-Carrie b-day celebrations are THE BEST. And this time, we have a Caza!

You have all my sympathy on the family sitch, love. *hugs you*

[viciouswishes.livejournal.com]

I love my dad, drunken, misogynistic, prejudiced bastard that he is. I would just have a lot more sympathy if he hadn't spent my childhood drinking, smoking and pork rinding himself into this condition and then expecting *me* to feel guilty about it, because he didn't have my "advantages." Pre-natal care can't fix everything, Pop.

Make a few adjustments (like take out the smoking) and you have my dad. *nods* Completely understand. I'm waiting for him to fall ill. He promised me a heart attack by 50, and well, he's four years over due.

*hugs*

[smashsc.livejournal.com]

ooh, DC! That's not insanely far from me (as if I mind insane drives anyway). I could be pretty easily convince to come up there.

keep me in the loop for sure.

*big hugs* on the family stuff.

[leeannaray.livejournal.com]

At least the stuff with your dad will be taken care of. Better now than later, I guess.

On a much happier note, I can't wait to see you again. The first week of August works just fine. Squee!!! Let me know if there's anything I can do to make your trip easier.

*bounces and chants "I am going to see Sue" over and over.

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

Massachusetts? Where in MA???

I'm over here in the western corner, sorta!

I miss Stoney, tooooo.

And I can totally relate about the Aged Parent thing. Oy.

[anelith.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure what your father expects you to do for him regarding all this paperwork. He still has to be the one to actually sign these documents, right? Or do you have to be there to hold his hand through the entire process? Argh.

I'm thinking we'll try to have as many LJ-ers as we can collect over at our house one evening while you're here. It's a "Meet Sue and Caza Festival"!

[brandil.livejournal.com]

Frustration abounds, I understand completely.

Everything worth eating, or at least worth craving is fried.

[violethamster.livejournal.com]

*pats you, because parents are evil*

*also hopes to see you and others in MA, even if it requires faking sick to get out of temp job*

[kaydee23.livejournal.com]

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Xangel is coming, Xangel is coming! Weeeeeeee!!!!!