Oh, I'm so glad you like this! It's been called the "genfic Spander" before, a lot of that is because even though it's Xander's story (with a side of Spike) I really tried to capture that feeling of safety in numbers they had in "Bargaining" - all of them missing Buffy and none of them dealing with it.
I wrote this story for 2 big reasons 1) I think that Xander loved Buffy more than anyone else had in her life. Not the kind of love that Angel and Spike felt for her, but Buffy's mission shaped Xander's entire life. He lived for Buffy. Her death would send his whole life spiralling in ways it wouldn't Willow and the others. I wanted to look at that, how Xander would change, and how grief would manifest. That was the one thing I was terribly disappointed about in the start of Season 6. I wanted to see more grief (we get it from Dawn and Spike) instead of Giles immediately leaving and Willow throwin' the spell into action.
Now, I get why that was. 1) Tony was leaving, Giles had to leave. 2) They'd just networks and you couldn't possilby introduce a series to a new audience without - you know - the star, so Buffy had to come back ASAP. Having experienced the loss of someone close to me (and having grown up southern and grave/death obsessed - not in a goth way, in a country way. It's a thing) I wanted more to the story of her death. And that's where Without Ceremony came in. It's gen fic, and probably the most incredible description of Buffy's 'funeral' I can imagine ever reading. It shaped a lot of how I wanted to write "Sunday."
And lastly - I loved Spike/Xander. I read so many fics that were truly excellent and I loved the dichotomy that makes them work when it's done well - Xander trying to find something a little darker, a little stronger inside himself to be a man and Spike trying to find the light and the humanity in himself to be a man. The one time I could see it happening for these two (canon wise, because I am a canon whore despite the slash thing) was the summer after "The Gift" when Buffy was gone and everyone was lost. And I think I worked it out the way I had imagined it, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on the way I ended things.
I got an email yesterday that said this was "too genfic for slash fans, too slash for gen readers and too glorious for everyone not to read." Kinda made my day, but not as much as you taking a chance on this - and for your wonderful words. Sorry to give you so many of them back. :)
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I wrote this story for 2 big reasons 1) I think that Xander loved Buffy more than anyone else had in her life. Not the kind of love that Angel and Spike felt for her, but Buffy's mission shaped Xander's entire life. He lived for Buffy. Her death would send his whole life spiralling in ways it wouldn't Willow and the others. I wanted to look at that, how Xander would change, and how grief would manifest. That was the one thing I was terribly disappointed about in the start of Season 6. I wanted to see more grief (we get it from Dawn and Spike) instead of Giles immediately leaving and Willow throwin' the spell into action.
Now, I get why that was. 1) Tony was leaving, Giles had to leave. 2) They'd just networks and you couldn't possilby introduce a series to a new audience without - you know - the star, so Buffy had to come back ASAP. Having experienced the loss of someone close to me (and having grown up southern and grave/death obsessed - not in a goth way, in a country way. It's a thing) I wanted more to the story of her death. And that's where Without Ceremony came in. It's gen fic, and probably the most incredible description of Buffy's 'funeral' I can imagine ever reading. It shaped a lot of how I wanted to write "Sunday."
And lastly - I loved Spike/Xander. I read so many fics that were truly excellent and I loved the dichotomy that makes them work when it's done well - Xander trying to find something a little darker, a little stronger inside himself to be a man and Spike trying to find the light and the humanity in himself to be a man. The one time I could see it happening for these two (canon wise, because I am a canon whore despite the slash thing) was the summer after "The Gift" when Buffy was gone and everyone was lost. And I think I worked it out the way I had imagined it, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on the way I ended things.
I got an email yesterday that said this was "too genfic for slash fans, too slash for gen readers and too glorious for everyone not to read." Kinda made my day, but not as much as you taking a chance on this - and for your wonderful words. Sorry to give you so many of them back. :)